The Loan Shark Dilemma

Just over a week after the Red Note Records Hustle where Rhiannon used her newly acquired skills to secure the return of the money ripped off from her boss the record shop owner, she went to visit the loan shark who was involved in the return of the money.

The Loan Shark

When she arrived at the loan shark premises, Rhiannon spoke to Mr Loan Shark, who conveniently was at the premises at the time:

“Hello, Mr Loan Shark. My boss is very happy that her money has been returned to her. I am glad you were able to assist my boss in achieving the return of the money.

Hello, Mr Goon. I see your hand is healing. Good news.”

Both Mr Loan Shark and Mr Goon were a little perplexed by and apprehensive about the visit by Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: No need to be concerned, chaps. This is a friendly, social visit. To make it easier for you in future, you may call me Miss Rhiannon.”

In unison they said: “Thank you, Miss Rhiannon.”

Immediately upon doing so, a large man walked through the front door of the loan shark premises. He proceeded straight to Mr Loan Shark.

Rhiannon stepped back and against the wall. The new arrival seemed oblivious to her presence. He seemed familiar to Rhiannon, from her Tea Drinking Club days. She then realised he was a brutal Iron Curtain assassin and liked to get physical. Her memories of him were not fond and she could not remember any good stories about him, other than he paid well.

Whilst Yuri was having his terse conversation with Mr Loan Shark, Rhiannon checked her handbag and was pleased when she found her firearm.

Rhiannon then spoke out loud: “Excuse me, gentlemen. Would you have the correct time? My watch seems to have stopped.”

A somewhat confused Yuri turned around to Rhiannon. Before another word was uttered, Rhiannon shot Yuri in his left knee. She then shot him in each thigh.

Rhiannon: “Oh dear. That was clumsy of me.”

Yuri fell to the floor in pain.

Rhiannon to a shocked Mr Loan Shark: “Mr Loan Shark, May I use your telephone?”

A speechless Mr Loan Shark nodded and handed Rhiannon his telephone. 

Rhiannon: “Nicky Parsons, I was having a pleasant social visit with my new friend Mr Loan Shark, when a brutal Iron Curtain assassin paid him a visit. Yuri now has a problem with his knee and he is bleeding a bit from his thighs. I thought you might like to have a chat with Yuri. We are happy to wait here with Yuri until you arrive.

Nicky Parsons: Again, Rhiannon? I will try to find some colleagues and see you shortly.

Rhiannon: Good news, Yuri. My friend the government agent with a taste for Iron Curtain assassins is coming here very shortly to visit you.

Yuri then started yelling at Rhiannon, through his pain.

Rhiannon: There is no need to yell, Yuri. And you should save your energy for when my friend the government agent gets here. I expect she will want to have a long chat with you. I understand she even has secure hospitality for chaps like you.

Yuri continued yelling at Rhiannon.

Rhiannon walked over to Mr Goon and spoke to him: “Mr Goon, Pay attention. This is a learning exercise for you.”

Rhiannon then located her firearm again and walked to Yuri on the floor of the loan shark premises. Yuri was still yelling and had progressed to threatening Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: “Watch closely, Mr Goon.”

She grabbed Yuri by the hair and repositioned his head so they were facing each other. As Yuri opened his mouth to yell again, Rhiannon put the barrel of her firearm in his mouth.

Rhiannon: You have a big mouth for a brutal Iron Curtain assassin, Yuri.

She then shot him three (3) times in his mouth.

There was no more talking, yelling or breathing from Yuri.

Rhiannon then let go of the hair of Yuri and he slumped to the floor. She then went over to Mr Loan Shark and asked to use the telephone again.

The telephone was provided to her.

Rhiannon rang MI6 again: May I speak with Agent Emily, please? She works with Agent Nicky Parsons. She is not available. There is another woman who works in their team. May I speak with her? Harriet? Yes. That is her name, Harriet.

Agent Harriet, It is Rhiannon from the record shop. There has been a bit of excitement at the premises of a loan shark friend of mine near my record shop. Unfortunately Yuri, the brutal Iron Curtain assassin did not survive the excitement. Perhaps you could bring a team to clean up after Yuri. I would have told Agent Nicky Parsons, but she is already on her way here. I will fill you all in when you get here.

Harriet: That is some quiet life you are living. I will organise a team and see you shortly.

Rhiannon: Thank you.

Rhiannon ended the telephone call and spoke to Mr Goon: “Good to see you have not fainted, Mr Goon.”

Nicky Parsons then entered the premises with Emily and M1.

Rhiannon: Nicky, Emily, M1, Hello. Yuri got a bit lippy after I telephoned you and he started threatening me, so I took care of him.

Yuri was a surprise visitor for me here today and he brought back rather too many unpleasant memories. He liked to get physical. He was not prepared to wait until you arrived to do his talking. Anyway, Yuri will no longer be killing anyone.

Emily: Have you considered putting intermediate gears in your gearbox, Rhiannon, instead of just drive and turbo-charged overdrive?

Rhiannon: I will try to bear that in mind the next time I am threatened by a brutal Iron Curtain assassin, Emily.

Harriet and her clean up crew then entered the premises.

Harriet: Your new hobby is quite something, Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: It did not look like Yuri was inviting Mr Loan Shark for tea and muffins, Harriet.

Nicky Parsons: OK. We will clean this up. There is one less Iron Curtain bad guy to trouble us.

Rhiannon: I have got to get back to the record shop. I will see you all later.

MI6 cleaned up the scene and then returned to headquarters.

Mr Goon spoke to Mr Loan Shark: If Rhiannon was not here ...

Mr Loan Shark: I am not sure I want to think about if Rhiannon was not here.

Record Shop

A Wednesday morning just over two weeks later, the manager of the café across the road from the record shop visited Rhiannon in the record shop. There was no one else in the shop at the time.

Café Manager: “Rhiannon, I have just had another distressing telephone call and I do not know where else to turn. At 4:00 pm today I will be getting another visit from criminals who want me to pay protection money and I do not have the money to pay them.”

Rhiannon: Protection Money? How long has this been going on?

Café Manager: About two months.

Rhiannon: You should not have to pay protection money and we do not need criminals in this neighbourhood.

Café Manager: I have not told the police because the criminals said not to get them involved.

Rhiannon: Would you like me to be with you in your café when these criminals visit you at 4:00 pm?

Café Manager: Yes, please.

Rhiannon: How many criminals are there?

Café Manager: Usually two or three.

Rhiannon: You can stay here and compose yourself. I will make a telephone call.

Rhiannon the telephoned the loan shark: Mr Loan Shark, It seems there is going to be something of a situation near my record shop at about 4:00 pm today. I will need your Mr Goon to come and assist me. Have him be at my record shop at 3:45 pm and tell him to come prepared. Is that going to be a problem?

Mr Loan Shark: Miss Rhiannon, It will not be a problem. He will be there and he will be prepared.

Rhiannon: When I say prepared, Mr Loan Shark, I mean the kind of prepared that gave Dietrich the German Communist a problem with his knee. Have I made myself clear?

Mr Loan Shark: Yes, Miss Rhiannon, you have made yourself clear. He will be there and he will be prepared.

Rhiannon: Good. This is another community service you will be doing. Helping rid the neighbourhood of criminals.

Mr Loan Shark: I understand, Mis Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: Thank you, Mr Loan Shark.

Mrs Café Manager, You can stay here and listen to records with me until you feel like returning to your café.

Café Manager: Thank you, Rhiannon.

As 3:45 pm approached, Mr Goon arrived at the record store. He was wearing an overcoat and when he opened it, he showed Rhiannon he was prepared.

Rhiannon: Good work, Mr Goon. I had to go home to get better prepared.

The café across the road is being forced to pay protection money. At 4:00 pm today that practice will stop. I will be the one doing the talking to the criminals and you will be my back up. Now you understand why you are here.

Mr Goon: I understand, Miss Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: “Let us go and find somewhere to sit in the café.”

As Rhiannon and Mr Goon took their seats near the service counter, Mrs Café Manager attended them and said she would get them a pot of tea.

Mrs Café Manager was serving them their pot of tea when the three criminals arrived.

Mrs Café Manager: That is them. They have just arrived.

Rhiannon: You go and deal with them and do not mention we are here.

Mrs Café Manager: OK.

The criminals then made their protection money demand on Mrs Café Manager.

Mrs Café Manager: I cannot pay you. I do not have the money.

The Chief Criminal: You have to pay us. And you have to pay us, now.

Rhiannon then located her firearm and shot the Chief Criminal in each of his calves. He fell to the floor. She then shot him in his left knee.

The other two criminals were surprised and stood frozen temporarily.

Rhiannon continued: “Get on the floor.”

Rhiannon then approached the blonde criminal. She grabbed him by the hair and put her firearm in his face.

Mr Goon had his firearm drawn and was standing over the brunette criminal.

Rhiannon: There will be no protection money paid today or ever. You are going to write down your names and address on the paper the Café Manager gives you. You do not want to argue with me and you do not want to lie to me.

Mrs Café Manager then gave each of the three criminals a piece of paper and a pen.

The blonde criminal said: No.

Rhiannon immediately shot him in the forehead, to the shock of everyone in the café. His criminal days were over.

She then approached the Chief Criminal: “I want your address, criminal. Both work and home address. If you think you are in too much pain, then I will have to kill you. Make your choice.”

The brunette criminal had written down his name and addresses and given it to Mr Goon.

Rhiannon: “Good job, Mr Brunette Criminal. Now write down the name and address of your friend who is bleeding here.”

Mr Brunette Criminal: I do not know his home address.

Rhiannon: Write down what you know.

Mrs Café Manager gave Mr Brunette Criminal more paper and he began furiously writing on it.

Rhiannon: Your future is looking bleak, Mr Chief Criminal. You are going to give back to Mrs Café Manager all the money you have taken from her. Your name and addresses will help in that process.

The Chief Criminal then gave his piece of paper with his name and addresses on it to Rhiannon. She then gave it to Mr Goon: Do they match?

Mr Goon then compared it to the information Mr Brunette Criminal provided and nodded. He then gave all the paper to Rhiannon, who put it in her pocket.

Rhiannon: "So far, so good, criminals.

Mrs Café Manager, How much money have they taken from you?"

Mrs Café Manager: 700 pounds.

Rhiannon: Mr Chief Criminal, You owe Mrs Café Manager 700 pounds. If that debt is not paid in full today, that debt will become 1,000 pounds. You have to pay interest on your loan.

Have you got 700 pounds on you, Mr Chief Criminal?

Chief Criminal: No.

Rhiannon: How much have you got?

Chief Criminal: 300 pounds.

Rhiannon: Give it to Mrs Café Manager immediately. If you decide to be clever in the process, I will kill you. Choose wisely, Mr Chief Criminal.

Mr Chief Criminal then produced 300 pounds from his pocket and gave it to Rhiannon.

Rhiannon then gave it to Mrs Café Manager.

Rhiannon: Count it to be sure how much you have been paid.

Mrs Café Manager: 300 pounds.

Rhiannon: Your problems keep escalating, Mr Chief Criminal.

Give the keys to your motor vehicle to my colleague.

Mr Brunette Criminal then gave the keys to their motor vehicle to Mr Goon.

Rhiannon: Mrs Café Manager, May I use your telephone.

Mrs Café Manager then gave Rhiannon the telephone.

Rhiannon: “Dietrich, Hello. It is Rhiannon from the record shop. How are you? How is the knee? Do you think you can find any other those degenerate German Communists you fund to take care of some criminals who want a business in my neighbourhood to pay protection money? Are you sure, Dietrich? Are you sure you want to disappoint me? That is unfortunate Dietrich. I was hoping you would be more helpful. Especially after all we have been through.

I may have to talk to you later, Dietrich.”

Rhiannon then telephoned Nicky Parsons: “Nicky, Are degenerate criminals who wanted the café across the road from my record shop to pay protection money of any interest to you? Got any raids in the works that could benefit from human shields?

Nicky Parsons: Rhiannon, Have you thought of retiring and working in a record shop?

Rhiannon: This business comes to me. I do not seek it out. Plus I do not fancy the prospect of being asked to pay protection money, so I decided to deal with these criminals. One career came to an end today. Another guy has a problem with his knee and some bleeding.

Nicky Parsons: Still just two gears in your gearbox, I see.

Rhiannon: My effective gear would be more effective if you were more helpful today. I cannot interest you in the boss of these criminals? I got them to write down their work and home addresses, as well as their names.

Nicky Parsons: I am restricted to dealing with Iron Curtain bad guys. Your criminals do not qualify.

Rhiannon: Thank you, Nicky. Enjoy your day.

Rhiannon: Mr Brunette Criminal, Write down the name, work address and telephone number of the boss of your organisation.

Mrs Café Manager supplied him with more paper and he did as he was asked.

Rhiannon then retrieved the paper and telephoned the boss.

Rhiannon: "It does not matter to whom in the organisation I am talking, some of your crew tried to demand protection money from a café in my neighbourhood this afternoon. One of your guys is dead, the Chief Criminal will now have a dodgy knee for the rest of his life and he has some other wounds and Mr Brunette Criminal has been more cooperative.

You owe the Café Manager the $700 you took from her and I expect it to be repaid today.

Mr Chief Criminal would talk to you, but he has my gun in his mouth."

Mr Goon then shoved Mr Brunette Criminal and he yelled: “She is telling the truth.”

Rhiannon: “I do not need much of an excuse to kill Mr Chief Criminal. Get the boss down here and bring the 700 pounds with him.”

Rhiannon then rang Mr Loan Shark: “Mr Loan Shark, I think you should come to the café across the road from my record shop. Come prepared and bring all the muscle you can get together. There is someone demanding protection money and I am putting a stop to it.”

Mr Loan Shark: I will see who I can hustle up.

Rhiannon telephoned Nicky Parsons again: Nicky, I suspect there is going to be an ugly confrontation. Are you sure you do not want to be here? It would be handy if M1 brought his sniper rifle.

Nicky: Who have you threatened?

Rhiannon: The boss of the protection gang.

Nicky: Two gears: Calm and trouble.

Rhiannon: Got to go, Nicky.

Rhiannon: Mr Brunette Criminal, When your work colleagues arrive, you will identify them. Your life depends upon it. Are we clear?

Brunette Criminal: Yes.

Rhiannon: Surrender your firearm.

Mr Brunette Criminal handed his firearm to Mr Goon, who gave it to Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: Where does the Chief Criminal keep his firearm?

Mr Brunette Criminal: Inside his jacket, on the left side.

Rhiannon: Mr Chief Criminal, Surrender your firearm or I will take it. If I have to take it, I will punish you.

Mr Chief Criminal surrendered his firearm to Rhiannon.

Mr Loan Shark then arrived and walked over to Rhiannon.

“I came prepared and so did my colleague.”

Rhiannon: “Good. We are waiting for their boss to arrive.”

Mr Brunette Criminal then said: “He is here.”

Mr Brunette Criminal spoke to the guy in the fur overcoat: “Boss, Things did not go so well.”

Mr Fur Overcoat: What is going on?

Rhiannon then shot Mr Fur Overcoat in his knee and his thighs.

Rhiannon yelled: Get on the floor.

Mr Fur Overcoat had fallen to the floor and his two offsiders lay on the floor.

Rhiannon: “Mr Loan Shark, You can check them for firearms. If they move, shoot them.

Mr Fur Overcoat, it was an enormous mistake forcing my friend to pay protection money. We do not want your kind in this neighbourhood. You owe her $700 pounds. Pay up."

Rhiannon then walked over to Mr Fur Overcoat, grabbed him by the hair and forced his head to look at her. She then put her firearm against his forehead.

Rhiannon: “You have 30 seconds to produce the $700 pounds you owe my friend.”

No movement from Mr Fur Overcoat.

Rhiannon: 20 seconds.

Still no movement.

Rhiannon: 10 seconds.

Mr Fur Overcoat was defiant.

To the shock of everyone, Rhiannon then put three bullets in his forehead.

Rhiannon: The debt has to be paid. Check his colleagues for money. Also, take any car keys they may have.

Mr Loan Shark, I assume you will be able to sell their motor vehicles for them and give the proceeds to Mrs Café Manager.

Mr Loan Shark: Yes.

Rhiannon: The lives of you criminals are shortening by the second. Produce the money you owe Mrs Café Manager and you may live.

It is tawdry, Mr Loan Shark, but take their watches etc as well. A disreputable second hand dealer may give you a few dollars cash for them.

Mr Brunette Criminal, Is this all your crew here now?

Mr Brunette Criminal: Yes.

Rhiannon: How are we going for cash, Mr Loan Shark?

Mr Loan Shark: 500 pounds, some change, a couple of watches and 2 sets of car keys.

Rhiannon: Mr Loan Shark, Could you make any use of Mr Brunette Criminal? Think carefully. He is not allowed to disappoint me.

Mr Loan Shark: Yes. I believe we could discipline him, so he becomes productive and he does not disappoint you.

Rhiannon: That is your lifeline, Mr Brunette Criminal.

Rhiannon then walked over to the two criminals who accompanied Mr Fur Overcoat and shot them in the head.

The people in the café exclaimed in shock.

Rhiannon: Never threaten me. Never threaten my friends.

Mrs Café Manager, Shortly you should have all the money that was taken from you returned to you.

Rhiannon walked over to Mr Chief Criminal and put her firearm against his forehead. He had lost quite a bit of blood by this stage.

“You have a choice. I call the police and you take responsibility for all of this or I kill you. There is a few of us here now. We could use you for target practice. I should add, I have no intention of calling an ambulance for you.”

Mr Chief Criminal said nothing.

Rhiannon: It seems appropriate that I use your firearm to kill you, Mr Chief Criminal.

She then put two rounds in his forehead. His criminal days were over.

Rhiannon: Thank you, Mr Loan Shark. I have the contact details of Mr Brunette Criminal. You may wish to take note of them for yourself. It seems pretty clear now he is aware of his future if he disappoints me.

Mr Loan Shark: I have them. My colleague and I will now return to our business.

Rhiannon: Mrs Café Manager, May I use your telephone again?

The telephone was then given to Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: Nicky, Mrs Café Manager will get her money returned to her. There were some deaths, but only bad guys. So, it turns out we did not need your help. Enjoy your day. I have to go.

Police Arrive

Two uniformed police officers then walked in to the café.

Police: What happened here?

Mrs Café Manager: Some men called on me and demanded that I pay them protection money. I said I did not have any money to pay them. Shortly afterwards their boss arrived with more men and an argument ensued.

Rhiannon: They were violent and unreasonable men. Not gentlemen, at all.

Police: Some of them seem dead.

Rhiannon: Like I said: violent and unreasonable men.

Police: Who are you?

Rhiannon: I am a friend of Mrs Café Manager. I am from the record shop across the road. It is scary that there are people demanding we pay protection money. I am here to support Mrs Café Manager. I think you will find no one else in the café saw anything.

The Police looked at Rhiannon and then asked: Did anyone see anything?

A variety of “No” rang out from those in the café.

Police: Five men dead and no one saw anything?

Rhiannon: It is shocking having these criminals in the neighbourhood.

Mrs Café Manager: The entire episode terrified me.

Police: OK. We get the picture. None of you saw anything about these five men dying.

Rhiannon: Five dangerous criminals, who wanted Mrs Café Manager to pay protection money.

Police: OK. We will wrap this up and clean it up.

When the police left the café, Mrs Café Manager spoke to Rhiannon: Thank you. This could not have been resolved without you. It is a small gesture, but please stay and have dinner with me here this evening.

Rhiannon: I was happy to help and I will gladly dine with you this evening.