Music and Fashion

Around morning tea time the day after M2 visited Rhiannon at her record shop, The Boss made one of his unplanned and unexpected visits to the office of Nicky Parsons. He was pleased to see all three Stuffy Shirts were present.

As he walked through the door of the Parsons office and closed the door after him, he said:

“Oh good. We are the most bizarre people for happenstance. One of my photographers just happened to be in your neighbourhood last night on business that had nothing to do with you or your team.”

As he pulled a photograph from his jacket pocket and placed it on the desk in front of Nicky Parsons, the Boss said:

• Someday my Prince will come, Nicky. Someday my Prince will come.

When Nicky saw the photograph, she said: “No way.”

Harriet then moved to view the photograph: “Well, how about that?"

When Emily saw the photograph, she said: “I do not think they are drinking Russian Caravan tea”.

Nicky: I am pretty sure it is English Breakfast.”

The Boss: Well done, ladies. I hope M2 finds happiness.

The Boss then reached over, took the photograph and returned it to his pocket.

As the Boss was walking out the door, he smiled at the Stuffy Shirts and said: “Have a good day, ladies.”

The Boss Goes On an Errand

When the Boss reached his secretary, he said to her: I am going on an errand. I do not plan to be long.

Secretary: OK.

The Boss then took a train ride to the Rhiannon Record Store.

As he entered her store, her boss was serving a customer and Rhiannon was free at the service counter.

Boss: Good morning, Miss. I am hopeful you have small note paper with the name and details of your store on it. The kind of note paper on which I might write a note for a gift record.

Rhiannon then produced a small pad with note paper similar to that described by the Boss.

“Is this what you are looking for , Sir?”

Boss: This is ideal, Miss. And I am confident I will only need one.

Rhiannon: Take three, just in case.

Boss: As you wish, Miss.

The Boss then placed the three pieces of note paper in his jacket pocket.

Boss: You have been enormously helpful, Miss. Thank you. Have a good day.

The Boss then made his way to the train station and took a train ride back to MI6 headquarters.

Upon his arrival, he proceeded to the office of M2. Conveniently for the plan of the Boss, M2 was not present at the time.

The Boss then took one of his Rhiannon Record Shop notes from his pocket and proceeded to write M2 a note.

“M2

I hope you find happiness.

The Boss”

The Boss then placed the note in the middle of the M2 desk, under a paper weight.

He then returned to his office.

Four (4) minutes later, M2 was back in his office.

He saw the note:

• From his Boss

• On Rhiannon Record Shop note paper.

He said nothing.

He put the note in a pocket of his jacket.

Stuffy Shirts

As the Boss closed the door and left the office, Emily said: “Harriet, I thought you said your job was to kill romance.”

Harriet: I hope I failed this time.

Nicky said more to herself than anyone else:

• Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

• Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Emily and Harriet looked at Nicky, saw the look on her face and said nothing.

Nicky has a Plan

Around 11:00 am the following morning, Nicky Parsons telephoned Hildegarde, the West German girlfriend of Agent Manchester, at her Carnaby Street clothing store.

Parsons: Hildegarde, It is Nicky Parsons. Do you get a lunch break?

Hildegarde: Yes.

Nicky: Can I interest you in having lunch with me today?

Hildegarde: Yes.

Parsons: Tell me a time.

Hildegarde: 12:30 pm to 1:30 pm

Parsons: I will be there shortly.

Hildegarde: OK

By 12:25 pm Nicky Parsons had made her way to the Hildegarde Carnaby Street clothing store. As they exchanged greetings, Nicky said: “The lunch venue is your choice.”

Hildegarde led Nicky to a café neither had previously attended. After the ladies placed their orders, they found themselves a table at which to sit.

Nicky: I have an idea that involves you and I want to see if it can work.

Does your clothing store do fashion shows?

Hildegarde: Yes. Occasionally. They are not very big.

Nicky: Do you have music at them?

Hildegarde: Yes. The boss knows a disc jockey and he helps her out.

Nicky: Somewhat similar to the way I met you, I met someone who works in a small record shop. I was wondering if the two of you could help each other out.

My idea is, at your next fashion show the record shop that employs my friend supplies the music you play. The advertising for your fashion show would indicate your store supplied the clothes, and her store supplied the music. Both shops could carry advertising for the fashion show and hopefully increase business for each of you.

I have not spoken to the record store lady. I thought I would start with you.

The fashion show might give us all a chance to see each other again and hopefully the troublemakers that keep me employed will stay away, so your fashion show can be a success.

Hildegarde: "I like your idea. I will ask my boss about it.

Why would this interest you?"

Nicky: I have an interest in seeing each of you succeed.

Hildegarde: I will ask my boss about it and if I need to sell it to my boss, I may get you to come along and sell it as well.

Nicky: In the meantime, I will try to talk to the record store lady and see if she is interested in the idea.

A byproduct of my idea is we get to have lunch together.

Hildegarde: You will be pleased to know that the clothing shop has had no repeat of the excitement the last time you visited.

Nicky: Hopefully they continue to stay away from your shop and your fashion show. You would be amazed how inconsiderate the troublemakers who keep me employed are of my working hours.

The remainder of the lunch break was pleasantly consumed by discussion of mundane matters.

Hildegarde: It is wonderful to see you again, Nicky. I am going to return to work. I will let you know what my boss says about your idea.

Nicky: Thank you for having lunch with me. It has been great to see you.

Nicky then made her way to the train station and caught a train to her neighbourhood.

When Nicky arrived at the Rhiannon Record store, there was only Rhiannon and the store owner in the store.

Rhiannon: Nicky, This is a surprise.

Nicky: "I may have another surprise for you. A friend of mine works in a clothing store in Carnaby Street. Occasionally they have fashion shows and music plays a part in those shows.

My idea hopes to get you, really this store, involved in one of the fashion shows. Her shop supplies the clothes, your store, this store, supplies the music. That is how the advertising for the fashion show would be presented. Hopefully business would increase for each of your stores. My clothing store friend will talk to her boss to see if she is interested. We have just discussed it over lunch. Now I am here talking to you about it.

So, Hello to you both. That is why I am here."

Store Owner: That is an interesting proposal. You have no financial interest in either business.

Nicky: My friends work in the stores. I have an interest in seeing them do OK at their work and the businesses that employ them do OK.

Store Owner: I am interested enough in your idea to discuss it with the clothing shop owner and see if the idea can work.

Nicky: I will let you know what my friend from the clothing store says after she speaks with her boss.

Thank you, ladies. I had better return to my work.

Rhiannon: Thank you for coming, Nicky.

Hildegarde Calls

Two days later Hildegarde telephoned Nicky Parsons and told her:

“The clothing store owner liked your idea. She was in the early stages of planning her next fashion show, which was scheduled for about 6 weeks time. So there is time for it to happen at the next show”

Nicky replied: “That is good news. I will give you the contact details of the Rhiannon record store and the two store owners can liaise with each other to see if they can make the plan work.

Another trip to Carnaby Street may be required.”

Hildegarde: There are worse things in life than a trip to Carnaby Street, Nicky.

Nicky: I seem to recall Carnaby Street has tea and muffins.

Hildegarde: And one or two clothing stores. Plus a fashion show.

Nicky: Hildegarde with the hustle. Nice work. Have a good day, Hildegarde.

Hildegarde: Have a good day, Nicky.

Meeting of The Stuffy Shirts

Nicky then telephoned Emily: Miss Abernathy, Are you free?

Emily: Yes.

Nicky: I will pop round.

When Nicky arrived at Emily’s office, she telephoned Harriet: Are you free for a Stuffy Shirts meeting?

Harriet: Yes.

Nicky: We are on our way.

Three (3) minutes later the Stuffy Shirts were holding a closed door meeting in Harriet’s office.

Nicky: Ladies, I have some very important Stuffy Shirts business to discuss with you.

The Carnaby Street clothing store that employs our friend Hildegarde is planning a fashion show for about six (6) weeks time. It seems to me that might be something which requires the attendance of the Stuffy Shirts.

There is more. I have a plan in respect of the fashion show and the owners of the two stores involved are interested in trying to make it happen.

The Hildegarde shop supplies the clothes for the fashion show, and the Rhiannon Record Store supplies the music. That is how the advertising for the fashion show would be presented. Hopefully business would increase for each of the stores. 

Emily: You propose we be tasked with the very important duty of attending the fashion show?

Nicky: Yes.

Harriet: Seems some Carnaby Street socialising could be involved.

Nicky: Indeed.

Emily: Fashion and music at Carnaby Street?

Nicky: Yes.

Harriet: This has Stuffy Shirts written all over it.

Nicky: Hildegarde can keep us up to date on how the fashion show is progressing. If you are curious, contact Hildegarde.

Emily: You know what is now required?

Harriet: Lunch?

Emily: Indeed.

Nicky: Bring your coat and handbag, while we collect ours.

Lady Harriet and Revelations

Just over a week later, Agent Emily telephoned Nicky Parsons: “Parsons, My office. Now.” And hung up.

Agent Parsons immediately went to the office of Agent Emily.

Emily to Nicky: Come with me.

Emily then hustled to the office of Agent Harriet and closed the door upon Emily and Nicky entering.

Emily: Agent Harriet, I believe that you are not really Miss Harriet, you are in fact Lady Harriet. Lady Harriet. Would you care to explain?

Harriet: Good morning, ladies. I am a cousin of the Queen.

Emily; But you are a ruthless killer.

Harriet: That is a bit harsh.

Emily: My apologies. A ruthless assassin.

Harriet: Much better.

Nicky: Lady Harriet?

Harriet: The men join the military. I joined MI6.

Nicky: Not concerned with the dying?

Harriet: I am trying to avoid the dying. At least for another 70 years.

Emily: So you are really Harriet Windsor?

Harriet: There are other names in my family, but you guessed correctly

Emily: Lady Harriet Windsor, What should we call you?

Harriet: Harriet. You call me Harriet. I am pretty sure M2 called me some other names recently. I prefer Harriet to those names.

Nicky: No security detail for you?

Harriet: I enjoy no more security than you.

Nicky: Lady Harriet Windsor has the same security as me, none?

Harriet: Firearms training comes in handy.

Nicky: Why should we risk taking you on missions?

Harriet: It goes with the job. I serve Queen and Country, just like you.

Emily: What do you call The Queen?

Harriet: I would not call her Lizzy. A nuclear bomb would be safer than calling her Lizzy. I call her, Your Majesty.

Emily: She is your cousin.

Harriet: She is The Queen.

Nicky: A cousin of The Queen is an Intelligence Officer at MI6.

Harriet; And a member of The Famous Five.

Emily: So you really are a Stuffy Shirt?

Harriet: I am the stuffiest of Stuffy Shirts.

So now you know my story.

I will make you a deal, Nicky. You tell me your story and I will take you to meet The Queen. Not just a five (5) second Hello. I will give you the full deal.

But you tell me your story. All of it.

Nicky: You will not believe my story.

Harriet: Tell it to me anyway.

Nicky (Took a deep breath): "I am a time traveller from the year 2025. I am an MI6 agent from 2025, who has been transported in time back to 1962.

The first person I killed here, the one that interrupted my Saturday breakfast at The Minor Key Café, I knew to be a very dangerous Iron Curtain assassin and if I took him out when I did, I would stop him from killing a lot of people.

Once I killed him, I realised the difficulty I created for myself about my presence here and my knowledge. So I concocted the story about him being a creep.

My story is I am a time traveller from 2025. A time-travelling 2025 MI6 spy.

Now you know. You are the only two people who know, apart from me."

Harriet: That is a better story than being a cousin of The Queen.

Emily: I am not so sure about that.

Time-travel explains your scatterbrain moments, Nicky.

I do not have a story and certainly not one that can compete with you two.

Harriet: A time-traveller. I am probably not going to tell that to The Queen.

Nicky: You do not need a story, Emily. Your story is fine as it is.

Emily: This certainly is an unexpected turn of events.

Harriet: Time-Traveller, Would you and Miss Abernathy like to adjourn for lunch?

Nicky: Definitely, Lady Harriet.

Emily: I may drink a pot of tea myself.

Harriet: Lunch it is, then.

Rhiannon Roles Away The Stone

The reckoning for Rhiannon came in circumstances she did not expect. Every time she walked on the footpath outside her Tea Drinking Club she thought of M2 taking out the Problem Tea Drinker. Every time, without fail. It haunted her. There were a couple of days where she could not bring herself to go to work. Every subsequent day got harder and harder to go to work.

A small record store in her neighbourhood had a job advertisement posted on the store window. Rhiannon approached the store owner and said she would like to apply for the job, even though she had no previous experience working in a record store or in retail. Mrs 40Something Record Store Owner said she was not troubled by that apparent lack of experience. The two women spent quite a bit of time talking about music.

Mrs 40Something: If you are prepared to come back here tomorrow, just before closing time, I will show you what is required of the job, once the store is closed. If that works out, the job is yours.

Rhiannon: Thank you. I will be here.

The meeting ended and Rhiannon left the record store.

The following day Rhiannon returned to the record store, as arranged. She was hopeful, rather than confident. Mrs 40Something was welcoming and patient. Meeting number two went surprisingly well and at the end, Mrs 40Something said to Rhiannon: “The job is yours, if you want it.”

Rhiannon: I definitely want the job.

Mrs 40Something: Welcome to the music industry. You can start Monday morning at 8:30 am.

Rhiannon: Thank you.

As Mrs 40Something closed the record store door behind Rhiannon, Rhiannon could no longer hold back her tears. She was not concerned about the modest pay that came with the job, Rhiannon had what she needed, a chance of a new life.

This was the best Rhiannon had felt for some time.

When she started her record store job, Rhiannon had fewer problems than she thought might be the case. The small store and modest customer base helped Rhiannon acclimatise to her new job. Two weeks into that new job, Rhiannon contacted her Tea Drinking Club and informed them she would no longer be working for them.

The Minor Key Café

On a Saturday morning three months into her new job, Rhiannon walked past the Minor Key Café and saw Nicky Parsons apparently dining alone. Rhiannon made haste to her record store, which was located not all that far away. She purchased a copy of the 1961 album by The Miles Davis Sextet, Someday My Prince Will Come and hustled back to the Minor Key Café.

She entered the café and made her way to the Nicky Parsons table.

Rhiannon: Do you mind if I join you?

Nicky Parsons barely interrupted her eating, but gestured to a seat at her table.

Rhiannon sat in that seat.

Rhiannon: How are you?

Parsons: Still doing my dirty job.

Rhiannon: How is M2 doing?

Parsons: Really? How is M2 doing?

Rhiannon: Yes. I want him to be OK.

Parsons: Perhaps you should have given greater credence to those thoughts when you first met him.

Rhiannon: I have something I would like you to give him from me.

Parsons: Haven’t you done enough damage?

Rhiannon: It is a record of the 1961 album by The Miles Davis Sextet, Someday My Prince Will Come from the record shop where I now work.

Parsons: Someday My Prince Will Come?

Rhiannon: I no longer work at the Tea Drinking Club. I now work at a small record store not far from here. My new employer was kind enough to not ask questions about my past.

Parsons: A convenient transition to a new life for you.

Rhiannon; Not an easy one. The epiphany could not have occurred without meeting you.

I want M2 to be OK. Can you give him the record, please?

Parsons: You ask a lot. I am not sure you give much in return.

Rhiannon: If you will not give M2 the record, keep it for yourself. The gift is sincere.

I will now leave you to your meal.

It is good to see you, Nicky.

Rhiannon then got out of her chair and just before she turned to leave the café, she said to Nicky: Someday My Prince Will Come, Nicky. Someday My Prince Will Come.

As Nicky Parsons watched Rhiannon leave the café and then she finished her meal, Nicky was not sure what to make of Rhiannon. She left the record on the table while she finished her meal and she took it home with her when she was finished.

Harriet Goes To The Rhiannon Record Store

A few weeks later, early on a Tuesday afternoon Agent Harriet wandered into the Rhiannon Record Store. Harriet and Rhiannon were the only people in the store at the time.

Rhiannon: Good afternoon, Miss.

Harriet looked at Rhiannon and immediately recognised her.

Rhiannon: This is where I work now. Permanently. You are a friend of Nicky Parsons and Emily Abernathy. Please do not leave, Miss. Please stay and talk to me.

Harriet: Perhaps I should stay here and shoot you.

Rhiannon: You think about doing that, Miss, while I talk to you.

Harriet: What happened to the Tea Drinkers Club?

Rhiannon: I left that job when I got this job. A deliberate choice on my part.

Harriet: You are no longer a tea drinker?

Rhiannon: My tea drinking is now confined to purely your kind of tea drinking.

Harriet: A record store.

Rhiannon: My employer was kind enough to not ask questions about my past. This is my new life. It is a better life.

Miss, Please tell how M2 is. I want him to be OK.

Harriet: M2 is getting better. Still a particularly good shot and quite ruthless. Good qualities to have in our line of work.

Rhiannon: Miss, I could give you any number of gifts and ask you to pass them on to M2 from me. Perhaps you would pass them on, perhaps not. What I would really like is to see M2 again.

Harriet: That is quite some request.

Rhiannon: Perhaps you could invite him to this shop for me. You could come with him. You and your firearm.

Put your firearm away for the time being, Miss. Save it for when you return with M2. If the meeting goes badly, use your firearm and end this misery for everyone.

Alternatively, you could have some faith and believe I only want happiness for M2 and I want to be part of that happiness.

I have made plenty of mistakes, Miss. More than I care to count. I cannot erase my past. I can only try to have a better future.

Please invite M2 here for me, Miss.

Harriet: I will do what I think is best for M2. I have to return to work.

Rhiannon: Thank you for coming into the shop, Miss. And thank you for talking to me. Have a nice day, Miss.

Harriet Takes M2 To The Record Store

One Wednesday morning just over a month later, Harriet went to visit M2 in his office.

Harriet: I want you to come with me to a small record shop in the neighbourhood of Nicky Parsons.

M2: A record shop on a Wednesday morning?

Harriet: Sometimes that is the best time to go.

M2: OK.

Harriet: I have my coat and handbag. Let’s go now.

There was almost no conversation between Harriet and M2 en route to the Rhiannon Record Store, even during the short train ride.

As they approached the Rhiannon Record Shop, M2 said: Would you mind telling me what this is about?

Harriet: It is best we wait until we get to the record shop.

As Harriet opened the door for M2 and her to enter the shop, it was clear Rhiannon was the only other person in the store.

A happy, but nervous Rhiannon greeted them: Good morning, Miss. Good morning, M2. How are you?

M2 to Harriet: Did you know about this?

Harriet: It is why you are here. I will stay here by the door. Just listen to what she has to say. Then we can discuss my punishment.

Rhiannon: Please do not leave, M2. This is where I now work. You can come in and look at and listen to records any time you like. No more Tea Drinking Club for me. I am an ordinary record shop girl now. My boss was kind enough to not ask me about my past. This is now my future. I get to listen to a lot of records.

Please tell me you are OK, M2. Please tell me you are OK and that you will come back to my record shop.

M2 said to Harriet: You knew about this?

Harriet: There were some rules. I would do what I thought was in your best interests. I resisted my initial reaction to kill her. I might be wrong about her. You may have a chance at happiness with her and if that is your wish, I will not stand in your way. If she is shining you on, I will kill her. My desire to kill her is not as important as your happiness.

It is not for me to say what you should do. You choose and I will respect you choice.

There are other record stores around. You do not need to shop in this one, although I could understand why you might want to.

Rhiannon: I can barely stand up right now, M2. Please say you will come back and see me again.

M2: I am not sure what to make of either of you.

Harriet: I can live with your disappointment in me. You would not be the first man I have disappointed. The only way I could resolve this for me was to get you here as I have done, so you two could confront your situation. I could not justify denying you the possible opportunity of happiness, based only on my assessment Rhiannon. You may be more forgiving than me, M2. You are certainly a better sniper.

Rhiannon: I would prefer that the two of you stayed here, but if you have to return to work, I understand. I hope you will come back again, especially you, M2. More than anything, I hope you will come back again.

Harriet: I am going to return to work. If you want to return independent of me, that is perfectly understandable, M2.

As Harriet left the store she thought it best if she gave M2 some space, so she caught a bus back to MI6.

As Harriet left the store, Rhiannon could see M2 was preparing to leave also. She made her way to the Miles Davis records and selected a copy of Someday My Prince Will Come. She then walked over to M2.

Rhiannon: “Before you go, M2, I have a gift for you.” She then gave him the copy of Someday My Prince Will Come.

“Thank you for coming M2. It has been good to see you. You are a good man. Please come back, M2.”

M2 took the record, said “Thank you, Rhiannon” and left the store. He then returned to MI6.

Some Day Her Prince Will Come

Not 5 minutes after M2 returned from the Rhiannon Record Shop encounter, Nicky Parsons was in his office with the Someday My Prince Will Come album Rhiannon gave her to give to M2.

Nicky: I have been wrestling with this for some time. I have no idea what the correct thing to do is. I have killed a lot of people in my time, a lot of people. Killing people is far easier than this. Rhiannon approached me one Saturday morning some time ago in a café near my home. She gave me this record and asked me to give it to you.

Nicky Parsons then produced the Someday My Prince Will Come album and gave it to M2.

M2 then produced the copy of the album Rhiannon had given him at her record store.

M2: “You women need to better coordinate your approaches. I have just returned from the Rhiannon record store, with Harriet, where Rhiannon gave me this copy of the album.

I hope I am never part of a mission you planned that is this uncoordinated.”

Nicky: Oh. This is embarrassing. I do not profess to be an expert at this. Like I said earlier, killing people is much easier. Rhiannon said she wanted to see you again. My immediate reaction was I should just kill Rhiannon, but I resisted that temptation.

M2: That is the story Harriet told me in the Rhiannon Record Shop about two hours ago when she had her earlier encounter with Rhiannon.

Nicky: I am much more comfortable advising and planning on killing people than doing this.

I have no idea what you should do. We do a dirty job. It takes its toll on us. If you can find happiness, that is worth pursuing. If Rhiannon can bring you happiness, I have no intention of standing in your way. Killing her solves a problem, but it may not be the correct solution. You have done a lot for Queen and Country. Do this one for you. Do what you think is best for you.

M2: Not sure that was the advice I expected to hear from you.

Nicky: The best I can realistically offer you is, if it goes wrong, we will kill her.

Do what you think is best for you, M2. You deserve to be happy.

M2: Probably a good idea I did not kill you the day I gave you the Mission Report. It was very tempting.

Nicky: I certainly appreciate you exercising restraint on that occasion.

You are a good man, M2. Do what you think makes you happy.

I am going to return to my office.

The following day, after a thoroughly unproductive work effort, M2 left work early and made his way to the train station. Records were on his mind. When he got off the train at the Nicky Parsons stop, he made his way to a café near the Rhiannon Record Store.

He watched the store as closing time approached. M2 watched Rhiannon put up her Closed sign, as he walked across the road towards her shop. As Rhiannon stepped on to the footpath, M2 was on the footpath outside her record store.

Rhiannon could not contain herself when she saw M2: “You came”, she exclaimed, with not a care in the world that anyone might hear her. She then essentially threw herself at M2.

With Rhiannon in his arms, M2 was not concerned at all about what anyone else might think.

Rhiannon: I have something very important to tell you, M2.

Rhiannon then put a big smooch on his cheek.

Eventually M2 returned to the café across the road from the record store with Rhiannon, where they stayed until closing time demanded they leave.

Rhiannon had been given her second chance. It was up to her to ensure she did not blow it a second time.

Russian Caravan

The Minor Key Café

Nicky Parsons and Emily Abernathy were having morning tea at the Minor Key Café. As they were enjoying their tea and muffins, they were approached by a well dressed, well presented, attractive young woman.

“You ladies seem to appreciate the delights of drinking tea. Do you mind if I join you? My preference is English Breakfast, although I have consumed my share of Earl Grey.”

Nicky and Emily looked at each other perplexed. Nicky replied: Take a seat.

The Guest continued: You ladies do not look like you have much of a taste for Russian Caravan. In my work, I have intermittent contact with a Mr 40Something who has quite the taste for Russian Caravan tea. I do not like to disappoint him. He pays well. So I am always well stocked in Russian Caravan. Mr Russian Caravan also has an interesting accent. I thought he may interest you. Is there somewhere we can go to discuss you keeping an eye on Mr Russian Caravan, or are you happy to continue the discussion here?

Emily: Miss, I think you may have confused us with someone else.

Guest: Your modesty is understandable. I do not make a fuss about my job. It tends to have unpleasant consequences when the fuss happens. I watched your friend take out a rather nasty chap one Saturday morning many, many months ago, in the alley beside this café. I am well aware you two ladies are not secretaries. Good shooting at the street festival, by the way.

I do not mean to be rude, ladies. Are you interested in Mr Russian Caravan? I can let you know when he is next scheduled to attend my work, so you know who to watch. Or should I go away and not bother you further?

Nicky: Yours is an interesting proposition. You provide us with a potential target, but we are not to compromise you or your place of work. Your proposal seems to be resplendent with potential for collateral damage. Assuming we are able to photograph this chap coming and going from your Tea Drinking Club, there is no guarantee others will not become aware of your Tea Drinking Club in the process.

Emily: Once the photographs are on our files, they are on our files. They are evidence for use as the situation demands.

Guest: This Tea Drinking Club is very different to the one where I work

Nicky: I am not disposed to discourage you from drinking tea here.

Guest: I am happy to stick to English Breakfast and Earl Grey and not rain on your parade with Russian Caravan. I have also been known to consume the occasional scone.

Emily: My proposal is that we give you our work contact details and you give us your home contact details, as well as the location of your Tea Drinking Club. We will try to minimise any collateral damage.

After producing a blank piece of writing paper and a pen from her handbag, the guest proceeded to write down her home contact details, as well as the location and contact details of her Tea Drinking Club.

Guest: You can write your relevant details on the bottom half of the paper I used, cut the paper in half and then everyone will be happy.

Once the contact details were swapped, the Guest again spoke: Thank you, ladies. It has been lovely meeting you and I will trouble you no further today.

As she was rising from her chair to leave, the guest said:

“By the way, Agent Abernathy, although I was not there to witness it, my guess is that you are the lady who put fabric softener in the pot of tea of a couple of Iron Curtain trouble makers.

Enjoy the rest of your day, ladies.”

The guest then left the Minor Key Café.

Would You Stay If She Promised You Heaven?

Nicky Parsons introduced M2 to the Tea Drinking Club escort and temporarily left their company. M2 was rather taken by her beauty and how she presented.

M2 to the Escort: “I am going to let you deal with the ladies. And I am going to call you Rhiannon, because with you, I would never win.”

Nicky Parsons returned to them promptly.

M2: I will leave you ladies to it. Please excuse me.

The Escort: I just had an unusual exchange with M2. He said: “I am going to call you Rhiannon, because with you, I would never win.”

Nicky Parsons smiled and said to herself: Rhiannon. Will you ever win?

Nicky then asked the escort: Do you think he would stay if you promised him heaven?

The Escort looked perplexed.

Nicky: It is OK. I will take care of it. And as uncomfortable as it may be for you, I quite like the idea of calling you Rhiannon.

Problem at The Tea Drinking Club

In the process of researching and surveilling Mr Russian Caravan, M2 learned that Rhiannon was having a problem with a male she knew through her Tea Drinking Club. Rhiannon chose not to tell Nicky Parsons about him. M2 added the Problem Tea Drinker to his surveillance list. M2 became very familiar with the routine of Mr Problem Tea Drinker. So much so, he set up a sniper room almost directly across the road from the Tea Drinking Club.

2:00 am was approaching and Mr Problem Tea Drinker was the only person walking on the footpath in the vicinity of the Tea Drinking Club. M2 had Mr Problem Tea Drinker in the sight off his sniper rifle.

M2 said: “For Queen and Country” and put two clean shot rounds in the forehead of Mr Problem Tea Drinker, who promptly fell to the ground. His tea drinking days were over.

M2 then packed up his sniper kit and left his sniper room. Once he was on the footpath, he found a public telephone booth and called the situation in to MI6. He told them to send a clean up team to the Tea Drinking Club.

M2 then returned to MI6 and completed his Mission Report. He did not go home. He got some small patches of unsatisfactory sleep in his office.

As soon as Nicky Parsons arrived at work, she was surprised to see M2 waiting in her office with his completed Mission Report.

M2 spoke to Nicky: “There are some days when I really do not like you. The things you make me do. Rhiannon had a problem at her Tea Drinking Club. I took care of it. For Queen and Country. Here is my Mission Report. I will never win.”

M2 then left the office of Nicky Parsons.

It is accurate to say that Nicky Parsons was in shock. She shut the door to her office. Reading the M2 Mission Report would have to wait until she processed what she just heard.

Three M2 statements just kept playing on repeat for her:

• There are some days when I really do not like you.

• The things you make me do.

• I will never win.

After about 20 minutes Nicky recovered enough of her equilibrium to telephone Emily and asked her to come to her office.

Emily attended without delay and when she arrived she was greeted by something she had never previously encountered, a clearly shaken and distressed Nicky Parsons.

Nicky immediately said to Emily: Can you read this Mission Report, please. There is no way I can read it.

Emily: “Certainly”. And she took the Mission Report from Nicky to read.

The silence in the room while Emily read the report seemed strange.

It did not take Emily long to read the report.

Emily: Did you know Rhiannon had a problem with a Tea Drinker at her Tea Drinking Club?

Nicky: This is news to me. I know M2 is very upset, and that is putting it mildly.

Emily: M2 took care of the problem Tea Drinker.

Nicky: The one person in all of MI6 that you do not want to have to take care of a problem for Rhiannon, was the person who would do the job best. He warned me. He said he would never win. He wanted out because he knew she would never deliver the heaven she promised. Queen and Country made him stay. And he did his duty, even though it was crushing for him.

Emily: M2 took out a problem that had no connection to the Iron Curtain.

Nicky: M2 took out a threat to an MI6 information source.

Emily: This is not a controversial Mission Report. No further work flows from it. It can just be filed away in the vault.

Nicky: Good. No more reports on M2 from this. No doctors, We will have to try to help M2 deal with this situation with as little external fuss as possible.

Emily: How are you feeling?

Nicky: Glad you are here.

The Boss

Within seconds of that conversation, the Boss entered the office of Nicky Parsons. He then closed the door and stood with his back to the door.

The Boss: “Do not misunderstand my stance and positioning, ladies. I merely do not want us to be interrupted.

M2 taking care of the problem tea drinker is not the problem. The damage done to M2 in taking care of the problem tea drinker is the problem.

By the look of Nicky Parsons, I would say that you two ladies are well aware of the situation.

Some considerable time ago you two agents went on a mission with a very raw M1. Afterwards I suggested M2 spend some time with M1 and help him come to terms with what he had just experienced.

I suspect healing M2 will take considerably more than spending some quiet café time with one or more of The Famous Five. Especially as Rhiannon seems to be an ongoing information source.”

Emily: How do you know all this?

The Boss: “You two ladies are not the only enigmas in this organisation.

Healing M2 will take some time. Please let me know if you need any help with that healing process.

Emily, I think Nicky would benefit from not being at MI6 today. Take your time. No need to rush. Perhaps you could telephone my secretary every hour or so to see whether there have been any developments or your attendance is required.

I think I will return to my office now. I have faith in you, ladies.”

The boss then returned to his office.

M1

M1 spent the day going over all the information MI6 had on Mr Russian Caravan, again. The evidence was clear. He was an innocent man. A Russian now living in London, who very simply genuinely enjoys Russian Caravan tea. He also was a single man who happened to be a client of Rhiannon the escort. His employment was irrelevant. He was not involved in activities that were in any way a threat to the United Kingdom.

By about 3:00 pm M1 had located the contact details of Rhiannon and telephoned her at her home: “You should come and see me. You can be here by 4:00 pm. There is no reason for you to be late. We will find somewhere where we can chat without unnecessary eyes and ears.

4:00 pm.  Do not be late. If your desire is to be late, I can help you out with that. 4:00 pm.”

Rhiannon was a little unsettled by that telephone call, but not enough to risk being late for her 4:00 pm meeting. When she arrived at MI6, she was promptly greeted by M1.

M1: Let’s go for a walk. I know a park that is lovely this time of day.

That greeting did little to balance the equilibrium of Rhiannon, but she was not about to test her luck with M1, so she complied with his request.

The walk to the park occurred in silence, apart from the sounds of the city.

Once they arrived at the park, Rhiannon could see they were the only humans present and the birds had little interest in them.

M1: “Your mojo does not work on me. I work with three beautiful women and there are several more on staff. Killers with killer looks. The things I have done for them.”

There was no chance of the Rhiannon equilibrium stabilising now.

M1 continued: “I have reviewed all the information we have on your Mr Russian Caravan. The evidence is clear. He is an innocent man. A Russian now living in London, whose only crime could be said to be he genuinely enjoys Russian Caravan tea. I am not sure enjoying Russian Caravan tea is a crime.

Your man happens to be single and one of your Tea Drinking clients. His employment is irrelevant. He was not involved in anything that was in any way a threat to the United Kingdom.

What you did not tell us was that you had a problem with another Tea Drinker at your Tea Drinking Club. We took care of your problem for you. More particularly, M2 took care of your problem for you.

You can consider that service we provided to you as payment for your information provision services. You ended up a long way in front on that deal.

All things considered, it seems a good time for you to retire from the vocation of providing information to MI6. Your welfare and well-being can then be a problem for someone else.

We did not need to put Mr Russian Caravan on our books. We did it because of you and now we know far too much about an innocent man.

M2 then took care of your problem because you were providing information to us. A good man was crushed because of your false alarm.

M2 should never have met you.”

This was completely unexpected by Rhiannon and her unbalanced equilibrium was making comprehending all this information more difficult.

M1: There is nothing you can do to repair the damage you have caused to M2. The best thing you can do is leave and not subject him to more of your damage.

If you are having trouble processing this information, tell me something positive you have provided to us.

Rhiannon offered nothing in reply.

M1: Yours is a starless sky, Rhiannon. Upon my return to MI6, I intend to inform them of your retirement from providing information to us. MI6 thanks you for your service. You are now free to return to promising heaven and never delivering, but without the support and protection of MI6.

As M1 turned and made his way back to MI6, Rhiannon stood dead still, unable to move or speak. It took Rhiannon just under ten minutes to leave the park and commence her very uncomfortable journey home.