A Very Dirty Job

The Boss of MI5 Is Compromised

The Boss of MI6 walked into the office of Agent Parsons, who was otherwise alone at the time.

Boss: Agent Parsons, there has been rather a lot go on this morning, so I am a bit late for the walk in the park we organised. If it is convenient for you, we could go now.

Parsons: Our walk in the park, Sir.

Boss: Yes.

Parsons: Now.

Boss: Yes.

Parsons: Certainly, Sir. I will get my handbag and coat and be right with you.

There was no conversation between the two MI6 officers until they reached the park. Their only companions in the park were birds.

Boss: I have received some rather distressing news, Agent Parsons. My colleague at the head of MI5 has been compromised. The Russians have turned him. I wanted to make sure of my information before I shared it with you. I am certain the information is solid and correct.

Parsons: That is a lot to process, Sir.

Boss: Take a moment, Agent Parsons. I have more for you.

Parsons: Turned, Sir?

Boss: Correct, Agent Parsons, and time is not our friend.

Parsons: There is some urgency, Sir?

Boss: Yes, Agent Parsons. The urgency is that I want you to do what you do and take him out.

Parsons: No thoughts of incarceration for him, Sir?

Boss: Only in a coffin and then a cremation, Agent Parsons.

Parsons: Am I allowed to see your information or intelligence before I embark upon this mission?

Boss: I have a file in my office I am prepared to show you. It also has some locations where I believe you might find your target. Your team are going to have to trust me and trust you. You also might consider inviting Rhiannon to join your mission.

Parsons: So to put it bluntly, this is a hit.

Boss: Yes. It is a dirty job you do, Agent Parsons. And this is one of the dirtiest. I have a couple of photographs with me I will share with you.

Parsons (as she looks at the photographs): There is no part of this story that is good or pleasant news, Sir. Apart from the walk in the park.

Boss: I am glad you introduced me to the walk in the park, Agent Parsons.

Parsons: Unless you have more news with which to shock me, Sir, we can return to your office, so I can see your file.

Boss: No more shocking news, to my knowledge, Agent Parsons. So we can return to my office.

There was no further conversation between them until they were in the office of the Boss.

Boss: Here is the file, Agent Parsons. It will have to stay in my office.

Parsons: This is not particularly pleasant reading, Sir.

Boss: Do you have enough information, Agent Parsons?

Parsons: Information I never wanted to see or hear, Sir. I will assemble the Famous Five and also talk to Rhiannon. I will keep you informed as to our progress.

Boss: Thank you, Agent Parsons.

After leaving the office of the Boss, Nicky Parsons called into the office of each of Emily, Harriet, M1 and M2. Her message was simple: “We are going for a walk in the park”.

The agents complied promptly and silently.

Only the bird population of the park had changed since the earlier visit from Nicky Parsons.

Parsons: “I have some shocking news for you. We have been given a very dirty job to do. There is a traitor in the security service and our job is to take him out. The officer in question is the head of MI5. The Russians have turned him. The Boss showed me a file after he broke the news to me. The information seems authentic.

“I intend to do my job. I would like you to join me. You are not going to see the file. That is the rule the Boss imposed.”

M2: The Boss wants us to take out the head of MI5 because the Russians have turned him. And that is all the information we get?

Parsons: I have some information about where we might locate him, but otherwise, yes, you are correct.

M1: Quite the leap of faith.

Emily: You are satisfied as to the accuracy of the information?

Parsons: Yes.

M2: I will do my job, but I would not want to be you if the information turns out to not be accurate.

M1: I will also do my very dirty job, but this will not end well if the information turns out to be bad.

Harriet: Take out the head of MI5 and the only information we get is “Trust Me”. You do not ask much, Agent Parsons.

Parsons: I am also going to talk to Rhiannon about joining us for this mission.

Emily: Is there a time frame for this mission?

Parsons: As soon as possible.

Emily: I do not like traitors. I would prefer we were given more than “Trust Me”.

M1: While you are talking to Rhiannon, we might as well visit the work precinct of our target and try to assess what options present for us.

Parsons: I will give you the address I have been given.

Harriet: We can work on his home options when you have told us if Rhiannon will be joining us.

Nicky Parsons Meets with Rhiannon

A customer was walking out of the record shop as Nicky Parsons was walking in.

Parsons: Good morning, ladies. Mrs Record Shop Owner, Might I borrow Rhiannon for a walk and a short chat?

Mrs Record Shop Owner: Business to discuss?

Parsons: Yes. I will not be long and I will bring you back some muffins.

Mrs Record Shop Owner: Bribing me with muffins. Good job, Miss Parsons.

Rhiannon laughed as she walked out the door with Nicky.

Parsons: There is a park nearby. We can chat there.

Rhiannon: A park that is not crowded this time of day.

Once they arrived at the park, Nicky told Rhiannon the news.

Parsons: We have been given a very dirty job. You have been invited to join us. The Russians have turned the head of MI5. Our job is to take him out.

Rhiannon: A hit on the head of MI5? Is your information reliable?

Parsons: Yes and the information I have seen appears to be reliable.

Rhiannon: Is the whole team playing?

Parsons: You would make six.

Rhiannon: A very dirty and very dangerous job. I had better be paid well.

Parsons: I will give you his name and the locations I have as to where we might find him.

Rhiannon: I suspect our opportunity windows will be small.

Parsons: The rest of the team said they would go to his work precinct to see what opportunities might present themselves.

Rhiannon: I might take a look at his home neighbourhood and see if anything of note presents itself.

Parson: We will also have a look at the home options.

Rhiannon: OK. I think it is time to buy muffins and return to work.

Back at the record shop, Nicky spoke to Mrs Record Shop Owner: Thank you for letting me borrow Rhiannon. Here are your muffins. I will now be on my way.

A Working Breakfast

Later than evening Rhiannon telephoned M2: M2, I think an early start might be in order tomorrow. I propose we visit Five Grove, you never know who we might see there. I will pack my picnic basket for us and I will include some of the delights you like.

M2: A breakfast adventure at Five Grove?

Rhiannon: Yes.

M2: You will bring the picnic basket?

Rhiannon: Yes. I have a hunch we might see someone in their natural habitat. It is up to you whether you bring your camera. For my part, there will be no Russian Caravan tea.

M2: Your invitation is compelling, Rhiannon. When do you propose we leave?

Rhiannon: I will pick you up at 5:30 am at your home. Then we can go to Five Grove and look for the best vantage point.

M2: 5:30 am for an adventure at Five Grove. Confirmed, Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: Enjoy your evening, M2.

Adventure at Five Grove

The next morning Rhiannon arrived a little early at the residence of M2. She was keen for a friendly interlude before they undertook their adventure. M2 welcomed her initiative and her dedication.

Rhiannon: I chose not to wear lipstick today, M2.

M2: So you do not have to spend time reapplying your lipstick.

Rhiannon: Correct. And now it is time for our adventure. I packed the picnic basket catering for both long range and short range options.

M2: Very considerate of you, Rhiannon.

Rhiannon: When we arrive, I think it best that you choose your best vantage point first and then I will make my suggestion.

When she arrived at Five Grove, Rhiannon parked a little away from the residence of Mr MI5.

Rhiannon: Let us go for a short walk, M2. And you can decide if you prefer the long range picnic option or the short range picnic option.

M2: Interesting neighbourhood, Rhiannon. Picnic options are limited.

Rhiannon. So is time.

M2: My preference is short range, looking down the driveway. Perhaps from across the road.

Rhiannon: I will be short range, near the driveway, perhaps in an adjoining property.

M2: OK. Back to the vehicle to get our picnic supplies.

Once they retrieved their firearms and secured their positions, they waited for Mr MI5 to appear. His motor vehicle was parked in the driveway.

The moment arrived. Mr MI5 exited the front door of his residence and he seemed to linger for a moment on the small patio.

That was all that was needed for the agents. Rhiannon put her first two shots in the knees of Mr MI5. M2 focussed on his chest and head. Rhiannon put two more shots in his head before she returned to her motor vehicle. M2 spent his remaining bullets in the chest of Mr MI5 and then promptly returned to the motor vehicle.

Rhiannon drove a few miles from the scene before she stopped near a public telephone.

Rhiannon: Good Morning, Nicky Parsons. Your day starts early today. There has been an adventure at Five Grove. You might want to send a clean up crew.

Parsons: Are you alone?

Rhiannon: M2 should be in the office in a while.

Parsons: OK. Thank you for your information.

Rhiannon returned to her motor vehicle.

Rhiannon: Nicky Parsons knows about the adventure. I expect she will take care of it. I will take you to a train station and you can go to the office. I will take the picnic basket home and then go to the record shop.

M2: OK.

It did not take Nicky Parsons long to attend the scene with a clean up crew.

Parsons spoke to Mrs MI5 while the clean up crew did their work.

“Mrs MI5, we will take you with us so we can assess if it safe for you to return here. We will also have some support people look after you.

Do you mind if I use your telephone? I want to call my boss.

Mr MI5: You may use my telephone.

Parsons: Boss, there has been an incident at Five Grove. I have a team here looking after the situation. I am bringing Mrs MI5 in to the office with me. You might want to speak with her when we arrive.

The Boss: Thank you, Agent Parsons. I will see you both when you arrive.

The Office of The MI6 Boss

Boss: “Thanks to the good work of my agents, Mrs MI5, we have located and taken out the Russian assassin who executed your husband. For the time being we have somewhere safe for you to stay. We want to assess whether any ongoing threat to you exists. Of course, that will involve a complete sweep of your residence. When we have decided that it is safe for you to return to your residence, we will let you know.

“Agent Parsons will organise some of our support people to look after you, following the shock loss of your husband. When they have finished their initial work with you here, they will transfer you to a house where you will be safe.

“Mrs MI5, my secretary has just buzzed me to tell me those support people are waiting outside my office for you.

“Thank you for your organising work, Agent Parsons.

“I will now let you go with the support people, Mrs MI5.”

Mrs MI5: Thank you.

Boss: Now that Mrs MI5 has left, Agent Parsons, is there any information you have for me?

Parsons: It looks like M2 and Rhiannon took care of business, but I will have to confirm those details for you, Sir.

Boss: And you took care of the clean up.

Parsons: Yes.

Boss: Good work bringing Mrs MI5 in here, Agent Parsons. I have not decided what I want to do with her.

Parsons: I see you have your explanation of the events prepared, Sir.

Boss: “Yes, Agent Parsons. Very helpful of that Russian assassin to have himself executed by our agents after he fled the scene.

“Agent Parsons, this has been excellent work by you and your team.

“I had better start informing people of the news. Thank you again, Agent Parsons.”

Parsons: Thank you, Sir.

The Famous Five Team Meeting

Nicky Parsons returned to her office and called a team meeting of The Famous Five.

“We will meet outside the building in ten (10) minutes. Bring your coats and handbags.”

Once the team had assembled outside the building, Nicky said: “We are off to the park.”

They proceeded to the park and then Nicky said: “Business has been taken care off. I understand M2 has some news to share.”

M2: Rhiannon suggested we go to Five Grove for a breakfast picnic this morning. Mr MI5 briefly paused on his patio, seemingly on his way to his motor vehicle. He did not complete that short walk to his motor vehicle, thanks to a volley of bullets that introduced themselves to him. Once we saw the Five Grove business was complete, we left. After driving for a few miles, Rhiannon stopped to telephone Nicky to get her to take care of the clean up. Then we went on to our work.

M1: That was swift work.

M2: Time was short. The job was dangerous. A moment presented itself. We took it and then we left.

Emily: Swift work, indeed. And all on the “Trust Me” of Nicky.

Harriet: I will keep my eye out for intelligence on Mr MI5 that is more than just “Trust Me”.

M1: This is our job. It is a dirty job. For Queen and Country.

Nicky: I am in no hurry to go back to work. I propose lunch at the M1 café, my treat.

Emily: Food, to help the medicine go down.

Harriet: And tea.

M2: I am in no hurry to return to work.

M1: Food, to help the medicine go down.

Nicky: Lead the way, M1.