Street Festival

Crosstown Shuffle

During her lunch break on Thursday, Agent Harriet attended a record store and purchased three (3) copies of the 1960 Lou Donaldson album The Time Is Right. When she returned to work, she telephoned both Agent Nicky Parsons and Agent Emily Abernathy. She told them she required them in her office immediately for a very important meeting.

There was no argument from her agent colleagues and they promptly attended her office.

Harriet: “Take a seat ladies, while I close the door.”

When she returned to her desk, Harriet located two (2) copies of The Time Is Right Lou Donaldson Album.

As Harriet presented the first copy to Agent Parsons she said: “Crosstown”.

As she presented the second copy to Agent Abernathy, she said: “Shuffle”.

The agents quietly took the record gifts, as Agent Harriet continued:

“Ladies, There is a street festival in the Emily neighbourhood on Saturday that requires our attendance.”

As Agent Harriet was speaking, Agent Parsons was also perusing her gift record. In reply she said: Track 6, Crosstown Shuffle. Nice work, Agent Harriet. I am in for Saturday.

Emily: Stuffy Shirts at my neighbourhood street festival. Count me in. And thank you for the record, Harriet.

Emily: Is meeting at my apartment at 11:00 am Saturday convenient, Ladies?

Nicky: Yes.

Harriet: I will do the Crosstown Shuffle.

Nicky: Excellent. And thank you for the record, Harriet.

Harriet: You are welcome, ladies. I bought a copy of the album for myself as well.

Emily: By the way, Agent Harriet. You were correct. This is a very important meeting.

Laughter then filled the room.

Emily Neighbourhood Street Festival

The Stuffy Shirts were having a very pleasant lunch at an outdoor café during the street festival in the Emily neighbourhood.

Harriet looked at the passing crowd and said: “I do not believe it.”

She then reached into her handbag and produced a photograph of a dangerous Iron Curtain assassin and placed it on the table, secured by her hand.

Nicky Parsons: (Somewhat exasperated) Really?

Harriet: Yes. Small work handbags, ladies.

Emily said: “Always come prepared” as she produced her firearm.

All three Stuffy Shirts then fixed their aim on the Iron Curtain Assassin.

Nicky Parsons: For Queen

Emily and Harriet: And Country. 

Six (6) rounds were then put into the Iron Curtain Assassin: Two (2)in his forehead and four (4)  in his chest. His street festival was over.

Harriet then went inside to the cafeteria staff and asked to use their telephone. She called the incident in to MI6 and requested an immediate clean up team. She then returned to the Stuffy Shirts.

Emily: You would think they could show some respect for our working hours.

Nicky: This guy was showing consideration, of sorts, for our taste for tea and muffins and the like.

Harriet: Still, a nice ambience at the street festival while we wait for our clean up colleagues to arrive.

Emily: It seems we need a fresh pot of tea.

The MI6 clean up crew arrived before the fresh pot of tea and the Stuffy Shirts filled them in on how the situation developed. The conversation was brief. The work of the clean up crew was swift and the Stuffy Shirts returned to their table just before the fresh pot of tea arrived.

Young Thief

Roughly 40 minutes later, a young thief was foolish enough to try to steal the handbag of one of the Stuffy Shirts. A man at a nearby table grabbed the thief and had a conversation with him.

“Put that back and get out of here. Do not mess with these ladies. They will kill you.”

The thief was not immediately persuaded.

Nicky Parsons then noticed the conversation and said: “A thief.”

Upon seeing and hearing Nicky Parsons, the man at the nearby table said “This will not end well for you, Mr Thief.”

Emily produced her firearm and shot the prospective thief in his right thigh.

Emily to the thief: “Just wait there until our colleagues arrive.”

Harriet: This looks like a volunteer for a human shield.

Nicky: Precisely what I was thinking. I will call in for transport for him.

Nicky then went to a nearby public telephone and called MI6 to request a transport team attend for their new found volunteer.

Nicky returned to the Stuffy Shirts and spoke to the thief: “We have an adventure for you. You will find out its details later.”

Emily: “When our colleagues arrive, they can treat your wound for you. No need to panic.”

Harriet: “The adventure will be memorable for you.”

Nicky Parsons greeted the MI6 transport crew before they arrived at the table with the Stuffy Shirts and the thief. The conversation was brief and the thief offered no resistance when he was taken into MI6 custody.

Harriet: When I heard the street festival was advertised as colourful, this was not what I had in mind.

Nicky: Emily told you previously her neighbourhood was colourful.

Emily: So long as this kind of colour arises only when either or both of you are here, it will be fine.

Monday Morning

When Nicky Parsons arrived at work Monday morning, Harriet, M1 and M2 were in her office.

Parsons: This is interesting.

Harriet: Obviously we are having a team meeting to organise a raid. Never let a human shield go to waste.

Nicky Parsons then telephoned Emily: Emily, Team meeting in my office, now.

Within five (5) minutes Emily was in the office of Nicky Parsons and the team meeting got underway.

Parsons: Agent Harriet, The floor is yours.

Harriet: There is a tailor shop in BeBop Circus that has a large contingent of Iron Curtain clients. My information is that three (3) particularly nasty chaps will be present at 3:00 pm today for a suit fitting.

Emily: So, an adventure for our degenerate thief friend?

Harriet: Precisely.

Harriet: I think this is a three (3) team raid. So Nicky might organise the other two (2) MI6 teams.

M2: Like the bookstore raid.

Harriet: Yes.

Parsons: Why not. Monday is a good day for an adventure.

Harriet: Conveniently, our degenerate thief is still being held in the cells downstairs in this building.

Emily: Wonderfully considerate of him.

M1: It seems no positional changes are needed, so M2 and I will be on equipment and driving duties.

Parsons:

• M1 and Agent Emily will cover the back entrance.

• M2, Agent Harriet, Mr Degenerate Thief and I will take the front entrance.

Harriet: I have prepared a Mission Folder, which you can all read before we meet back here at 1:30 pm.

Parsons: I will let you know if I have any trouble recruiting the two (2) extra MI6 teams. Otherwise, it is back here at 1:30 pm.

The team meeting then ended and the agents dispersed to their respective offices to read the contents of their Mission Folders and prepare for the raid.

Harriet also telephoned the custody agents holding Mr Degenerate Thief to let them know he was going on an adventure later that day. They assured Agent Harriet they would have him available for her.

The 1:30 pm Famous Five team meeting was brief. There were no hitches in their preparation for the raid. So it was off to the car park, collect the handcuffed Mr Degenerate Thief for his adventure and then make their way to the BeBop Circus tailor shop.

En route to the raid venue, there was no conversation in the motor vehicle. No one wanted to spoil the adventure surprise for Mr Degenerate Thief.

Upon their arrival, the agents alighted from the vehicle and put on their protective jackets.

It was about that time when Mr Degenerate Thief again heard the street festival man from a nearby table say to him: “This will not end well for you, Mr Thief.”

Instructions to the raid teams, including the two extra MI6 teams, from Agent Parsons were brief: “We all know the drill for this. Let’s go.”

Agent Parsons had one arm of Mr Degenerate Thief and M2 had the other. They were pulling him to the front door of the tailor shop.

As they paused at the front door, M2 spoke to Agent Parsons: “Happy to do this for you, Agent Parsons.”

Parsons: “As you wish, M2. Mr Degenerate Thief, You are enabling some on the job training.”

M2 grabbed Mr Degenerate Thief tightly and placed him in front of him.

M2 said: “This is your adventure and it will be memorable.”

M2 then breached the front door of the tailor shop with his colleagues behind him.

The response of the Iron Curtain assassins to the interruption to their suit fitting was predictable and unfriendly. They chose to greet the MI6 agents with gunfire.

M2 held Mr Degenerate Thief tightly in front of him. The adventure for Mr Degenerate Thief was about to reach its pinnacle. He took most of the gunfire from the Iron Curtain assassins, as the other MI6 agents fanned out and surrounded the assassins. M2 held his target well and having taken almost all of the gunfire from the assassins, there would be no more stealing for Mr Thief. His time had expired.

The trigger-happy Iron Curtain assassins being fitted for their suits did not expect a breach from the rear. A couple of well placed rounds to their calves saw them drop to the floor and neutralised. In no time at all the three (3) assassins were in handcuffs.

The raid went very smoothly. The Iron Curtain assassins were captured and Mr Thief got the adventure his behaviour deserved.

Nicky Parsons looked at the now dead body of Mr Degenerate Thief lying motionless on the floor and said: “Your friend at the street festival table was correct. This did not end well for you.”

Nicky Parsons: Good job, team. All of you.

Agent Harriet was already on the tailor shop telephone calling the raid situation in to MI6 and the clean up team would soon be in attendance.

Nicky Parsons spoke to the Iron Curtain assassins just before the MI6 clean up team took them away to MI6 headquarters: (Pointing to the now very dead Mr Degenerate Thief) “This is what happens to you, if you do not cooperate with us.”

The MI6 agents all made their way to their motor vehicles and returned to MI6 headquarters.

As they were driving back to MI6 headquarters, Agent Emily said: “Did someone say detour for a cup of tea and a bite to eat?”

Harriet: Indeed, they did.

M1: Yes.

M2: Absolutely.

Nicky: Detour for a cup of tea and a bite to eat it is, then.

Emily: Good job today, M2. You can choose our food venue.

Parsons: Good job, M2. Good job, everyone.

Shooting Range

Just over three weeks after the tailor shop raid, Agent Parsons held a Famous Five team meeting in her office.

Parsons: “How is everyone with their firearms training?

The reason I ask is the three Iron Curtain bad guys were captured at the tailor shop raid are apparently having memory problems and are not cooperating by providing MI6 with the information we want. I thought they could accompany us to the shooting range and we could help them with their memory lapses.”

M2: An important part of shooting training is to ensure you do not hit the wrong target. Having a live volunteer or three would be very useful for that practice.

Emily: Their presence could really help us focus on the targets.

Harriet: Very considerate of them to volunteer to help us with our firearms training.

M1: We do not want mistakes to occur when we go on missions. It is very helpful of them to volunteer to assist us with improving our skills.

Parsons: Can we go to the range today?

M2: Short of a mission, and happily we are light on them at the moment, this firearms training seems a priority.

Harriet: I just rang our custody people, the Iron Curtain bad guys are immediately available to accompany us to the MI6 shooting range, if that is our wish.

Parsons: OK. Can you collect your jackets and coats and be back here in 15 minutes.

M1: M2 and I have got the driving duties covered. No need to trouble any other MI6 agents.

As the three handcuffed Iron Curtain bad guys were being walked to the motor vehicles, Nicky Parsons said to them:

“We have an adventure for you. I am sure it will help you with the memory troubles you appear to be having."

When the team and their companions arrived at the shooting range, Emily said to everyone:

“Amazing luck for us. The shooting range people told me when I telephoned them earlier, we would be the only agents present and the entire range was at our disposal.”

All five agents accompanied the three Iron Curtain bad guys to their position on the shooting range, where they were each secured to a target on a lane. M1 and M2 seemed to be rather enthusiastic about tying them to their respective targets.

Apart from acknowledging the three volunteers were properly secured to the targets, there was no conversation during this process.

The five MI6 agents then assumed their positions in their respective shooting lanes.

The initial rounds of shooting saw the agents stick to their paper targets.

The silence was then broken by Emily: “Thigh”, as she put a round in the thigh of the first Iron Curtain Bad Guy.

Harriet put a round in the thigh of the second bad guy.

Nicky completed the set and put a round in the third bad guy.

M1 and M2 then loaded rubber bullets in their sniper rifles.

When they were ready to shoot, M1 said: “Ladies”.

The Stuffy Shirts then stood down and M1 and M2 fired many rubber bullet rounds at the Iron Curtain bad guys, mostly in their chest.

Having completed their shooting, The Famous Five made their way to the targets.

As Nicky Parsons detached and secured the paper targets, she said to her team: “Good shooting, team.”

Parsons then spoke to the Iron Curtain bad guys: 

“I thought we made it clear to you at the tailor shop, your obligation was to cooperate.

Careless of you to get yourselves in the path of live fire.

There is no point in any of you screaming. This is a shooting range. No on can hear you.

Are your memories getting any better?

We have plenty of time today to work on our firearms training.

In case you were wondering, you will not be getting any medical treatment until we return to MI6."

By this time M1 and M2 had returned to their shooting positions and reloaded their sniper rifles with rubber bullets.

As M2 said: “Ladies”, the Stuffy Shirts moved out of the firing line.

M1 and M2 then fired several rubber bullets into the knees of the Iron Curtain bad guys.

Agent Parsons continued to the Iron Curtain bad guys:

“I think I will get the MI6 agent to whom you have refused to provide information to attend here and interview you now. He can bring an MI6 doctor with him.

I have no patience for your lack of cooperation. Cooperate or we will finish the job.”

One of the Iron Curtain agents spoke, through the pain: “Bring your agent here and bring a doctor.”

His two bad guy colleagues said “Yes” several times in agreement with him.

Agent Parsons: “Wait here while I make a telephone call.”

Within five minutes Nicky Parsons was back and she confirmed the MI6 agent would soon be in attendance and he would bring a doctor with him.

When he and the doctor arrived at the shooting range there was a fairly short conversation between them and Agent Parsons about the developments with the Iron Curtain bad guys.

The MI6 agent then said to Agent Parsons: “We will take it from here. Thank you for your assistance.”

The Famous Five then proceeded to go through their usual shooting range clean up and left the range.

As they were about to get into their motor vehicles, Nicky Parsons said:

“ Good job, team. My watch says it is time for late lunch.”

Emily: My watch says it time for lunch.

Harriet: M2, That cafeteria of yours is calling.

M1: Lead the way, M2. Food is calling.

M2: Food it is.

Opportunity Knocked, Innovation Answered

On what was an otherwise unremarkable day for him, Quatorze, a friend of Stourton, was minding his own business at a coffee shop, when he noticed a male known to him, Umburto. That male had a female companion. Quatorze then recognised the female companion to be Limoges, the wife of Stourton. Limoges and Umburto got very familiar with each other.

Quatorze overheard Limoges making plans with her lover to get together later and those plans did not resonate well with Quatorze.

A text message to Stourton was required, he thought. The text message he sent read:

“We have not seen each other for too long. Dinner at The Steakhouse Bar tonight at 7:00 pm. No excuses. Be there.”

The reply from Stourton read: “OK, tonight is Steak night.”

The Steakhouse Bar

Quatorze was the first to arrive at The Steakhouse Bar and he secured a table for he and Stourton. He waited until the food ordering was done and served before he delivered the bad news.

Quatorze: “Limoges, the event planner wife of yours was kind enough to interrupt my lunch by planning the wrong kind of event. She was planning the infidelity two-step with another male known to me, that male obviously being not you.”

Pausing his eating, a stunned Stourton replied: "What do you mean?"

Quatorze: "Your wife was always about the glitz and the glamour. The big events, the fancy parties. But she ignored the most important event of all: your marriage."

It is not really a surprise to see her so caught up in her own world and her own desires,  planning events for others, that she would neglect what should be the most important person in her own life."

Stourton understood enough of what was told to him, even if he did not process all of it.

The men finished their meals. Conversation between them did not dwell on the infidelity of Limoges, but focussing on other topics was difficult for Stourton.

Quatorze did not press him, he tried to be supportive. It was the kind of bad news he did not enjoy delivering, and to the extent that he could, he tried to be supportive.

The Kidnapping

As far as Limoges was concerned, her marriage had become predictable and dull. In stark contrast to the exciting job she did. Of course, she took no responsibility for her marriage not producing the excitement and variety she apparently craved.

Stourton being a fairly high-level engineer at a pharmaceutical company developing a revolutionary new energy source was not enough to meet the excitement needs of the now very important and demanding Limoges. As she got caught up in the excitement of her event planning, she became prone to gossiping. Applying some circumspection to sharing details of work information her husband shared with her did not occur to her.

The paths of Limoges and Umburto crossed at one of her planning events. He seemed younger, vibrant and exciting, in contrast to the solid predictability that was now apparently a problem for her husband. So the dalliance started and it became an affair.

Limoges was also an interesting moment of excitement for Umburto. His work had not delivered the results he desired, so he left his employer for a rival company. What Umburto did not tell Limoges initially was that he worked for the same pharmaceutical company as her husband. A company that was making real progress with a breakthrough drug. Umburto desired his own kind of results, so he took his disgruntled self off to a rival company.

With her mind focussed acutely upon herself, Limoges did not think too much about the work information her husband shared with her. She also enjoyed moments from time to time where he was definitely not good enough for her and sharing his information with others was not beyond her pettiness.

The disgruntled Umburto was happy to hear information from Limoges about Stourton and his new drug. He may be able to use that information to advance himself. The life of disgruntled Umburto was resplendent with poor choices. The pharmaceutical company employer he left, when he worked with Stourton, was having success with a breakthrough drug. The rival company for whom he now works was desperate to gain a competitive edge.

The poor decision-making of Umburto to share the information about a new drug from his former employer to his new employer triggered catastrophic consequences. The desperate to gain a competitive edge, rival company hired a group of criminals to kidnap Stourton and force him to reveal the secrets of the new technology. If this pharmaceutical company crew could monetise their stupidity, they would be very wealthy.

Quite a contrast was now in play, thanks to the lack of thinking of Limoges and Umburto. The new employer of Umburto saw Industrial Espionage as a legitimate motivation for the kidnapping of Stourton. Umburto was their useful idiot in their plan to circumvent the hard worm and intellectual dedication that is so much a part of most success.

Proper research was not a constituent component of the business plan of the new employer of Umburto. They did not bother to research the group of criminals they hired to kidnap Stourton and force him to reveal the secrets of the new drug.

The day after Quatorze revealed the infidelity of Limoges to Stourton, the criminal masterminds put their plan into action and kidnapped Stourton. The criminals told Stourton, if he does not cooperate and give the criminals what they want, they would kill his wife.

Now in the custody of the kidnappers, Stourton assessed the situation as one where he faced an uncertain future. Stourton took the view that if these geniuses were true to their word, he would not feel unhappy about the outcome. He adopted the approach of telling the criminal mastermind kidnappers that he does not negotiate with terrorists.

Upon hearing their captive Stourton declare that he does not negotiate with terrorists, the kidnappers did not respond well. Two (2) of them departed the scene and attended upon the location of Limoges, where they proceeded to shoot and kill her. Predictably, chaos ensued.

Shortly thereafter the criminal mastermind kidnappers, and now murderers, were arrested and charged with kidnapping and murder.

Locating the geniuses who kidnapped Stourton did not take the police long and he was freed to return home.

The Police Perspective

The nightmare was not yet over for Stourton. The police felt they needed to spend some more time with him.

The humourless Detective Harper interviewed Stourton at the city centre police station.

Harper to Stourton: "So, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

Stourton: "Correct, Detective. I was minding my own business, and suddenly, I was kidnapped."

Harper "And you are sure you do not know why you were targeted?"

No hesitation from Stourton. "I am certain. I have no enemies, no outstanding debts. It was a random act of violence."

Detective Harper had no evidence to suggest Stourton was not telling the truth.

Harper: "Alright, then. We will do our best to find out who is responsible for this."

"In the meantime, I suggest you try to relax and let us handle this. You have been through a lot."

The Train Station Interlude

Stourton left the police station and proceed home after his eventful day, happy that he had not been charged with any offence. There was no reason he should be charged with any offence, but things had not gone well for him recently.

He made his way to the train station and waited patiently for his train.

Helping pass the time during that patient wait was a conversation her overheard between two lawyers known to each other and waiting for their respective trains. As is the want of lawyers, they shared a war story. This one was colourful.

The Bank Job Gone Wrong

The professional bank robbers entered the bank. They had planned this heist meticulously, down to the last detail. They had studied the layout of the bank, its security systems, and the routines of its employees. They had even gone so far as to create elaborate disguises to help them blend in with the crowd.

But as they were about to make their move, chaos erupted. Two drug-addled individuals, clearly under the influence of heroin or methamphetamine, stumbled into the bank, shouting and swearing at the top of their lungs. The robbers were taken aback, and from that moment, they were put off their game.

Oblivious to the danger they were in, the two junkies continued to cause a commotion, drawing the attention of both the employees and customers of the bank. In their panic, the robbers were forced to act quickly, but their usual precision and coordination were thrown off by the sudden and unplanned junkie interruption.

The attempts of the bank robbers to carry out their plan were thwarted. They found themselves struggling to keep up with the unpredictability of the situation. The junkies continued to cause havoc, making it impossible for the robbers to complete their heist without being detected.

Just as the robbers were about to give up and abandon their plan, the police arrived on the scene. The chaos created by the junkies had tipped off the authorities, and now the robbers found themselves surrounded by blue lights, sirens and police.

In a desperate attempt to escape, the robbers tried to fight their way out, but they were no match for the police. They were quickly subdued and taken into custody, their plans foiled by two very drug-affected junkies they might have included in a better thought out plan.

The reputation of the most professional bank robbers in the business had been shattered, all because of two junkies high on drugs. It was a bitter pill for them to swallow, and one that would haunt them for the rest of their days.

Unsurprisingly, the two junkies were oblivious to the impact they had just had on the lives of the bank robbers. The junkies were taken away by the police, still high on drugs and still causing havoc wherever they went. Their actions had inadvertently saved the day, but they would never know it.

The trains then arrived for the lawyers and the overheard conversation ended.

Homeward Bound

Stourton did not have to wait much longer for his train.

When he arrived home, Stourton closed the door to his residence and to this sorry episode in his life. The silence of the apartment was comforting to him.

He made his way to his entertainment cabinet and browsed his collection of recorded television shows. He selected an old DVD, the kind he had not watched in years, its details hazy in his memory. It was just an hour of dated drama, perfect for switching off. He settled onto his couch, the familiar opening credits of "Fatal Obsession" flickering onto the screen.

Fatal Obsession

The air thickened around her, a suffocating blanket of dread. An ultra-feminist, utterly consumed by a narrative of male menace, she stepped off the train, the station’s artificial calm doing nothing to quell the rising tide of her fear.

“He is there.” Her mind screamed, a phantom presence at her back. “He has seen me.”

As she walked, the familiar sounds of the suburb warped into sinister omens. Every rustle of leaves, every distant car engine, became a confirmation. She picked up her pace, her knuckles white around her bag strap.

“He is closer. I can feel him.”

A relentless loop of danger, her internal narrative tightened its grip. 

For just a fleeting, panicked moment she glanced over her shoulder, seeing only the shifting shadows that her paranoia shaped into a man following her.

Her conviction solidified into chilling certainty. This was not just fear; this was a pursuit. Her walk quickened, then lurched into a desperate sprint. She swerved abruptly down a side street, her breath ragged. The pavement became a blur beneath her, the world a disorienting rush of colour and noise.

“I have to lose him!”

She cut hard through a narrow alley, then burst onto a busy main road, headlights flashing like malevolent eyes, horns blaring in what seemed a deliberate cacophony. Oblivious to the true dangers, her focus was fixed on the unseen malevolent male figure she imagined to be at her heels.

A car horn blared, a prolonged, angry shriek. But to her, it was white noise. She charged forward, a desperate, fragmented desire for freedom overriding all sense. The heavy traffic on the main road became a fluid, terrifying gauntlet. The fast-moving motor vehicle was upon her before the terror could truly register. A sickening thud, a screech of tires, and then, silence.

Just a few paces behind, her cousin Marcella stumbled to a halt, panting, her arm outstretched. "Wait! I just ... I just wanted to ask you about ..."

As the closing scene of Fatal Obsession finished, Stourton fell asleep.

The Fallout

MI6 Boss Meets with Sir Julian Finch

MI6 Boss: This is the Chief of The Secret Intelligence Service. I would like to speak with Sir Julian Finch, Permanent Under-Secretary at the Foreign Office. We are known to each other and he definitely wants to speak with me.

MI6 Boss: Sir Julian, We have not seen each other for ages. Are you aware there is a park near my office? Touching grass is wonderfully invigorating. And that park allows you to have a conversation without the complication of unnecessary ears.

Sir Julian: A park?

MI6 Boss: A park. Wonderfully free of prying eyes and unwanted ears.

Sir Julian: We could have a conversation in my office.

MI6 Boss: Of course, we could have a conversation in your office and everyone in your office would know I was there speaking with you. No doubt there would be entries in the Log of Visitors. A walk in the park has none of those complications.

Sir Julian: So you are not suggesting I attend your office, to catch up with you, but rather we meet in the park near you?

MI6 Boss: Meeting in the office is resplendent with complications. Walking in the park frees us from prying eyes and unwanted ears. And the park visuals are much more invigorating than our offices.

Sir Julian: A park is very unconventional.

MI6: You are correct, Sir Julian and I realise I have misread the situation. I will shortly attend upon your office, with entries in the Log of Visitors, with prying eyes and unwanted ears and we can have the candid and sensitive conversation that is necessary between us. I had intended to walk to the park, but I will drive to your office, or more correctly be driven. That will be more records of our meeting. I apologise for overlooking the need to follow protocol.

Sir Julian: A candid and sensitive conversation, you say?

MI6 Boss: Yes.

Sir Julian: It seems you are refreshing my memory. It is rather a large park. And quite attractive. Certainly in comparison to our drab offices.

MI6 Boss: A large and beautiful park, which is usually sparsely populated during work hours.

Sir Julian: That sounds like the kind of venue where your conversation is unlikely to be interrupted.

MI6 Boss: A highly recommendable quality in a park.

Sir Julian: So you are suggesting we go for a walk in the park near your office?

MI6 Boss: I know it is walking distance from your office. Meet me just inside the entrance that faces the street outside my building in 20 minutes. You have not got anything better to do.

Sir Julian: I will see you in 20 minutes.

The telephone call then ended and the MI6 Boss made his way to the park shortly thereafter.

When the MI6 Boss saw Sir Julian had attended the park, he was a little surprised, but grateful. The telephone call seemed to be making slow progress.

MI6 Boss to Sir Julian: “Getting you here was like pulling teeth. I do not intend to waste time. You have a very serious problem. One of your officers, Contessa Fortescue, a mid-level liaison officer between the government and MI6, has, or more accurately now, had a brutal Iron Curtain assassin for a boyfriend. The partial good news for you is one of my agents killed him a few days ago. And killed one of his colleagues also. They were both in the apartment the assassin seemed to be sharing with your officer.

We have got your Contessa in custody and we have got a book we intend to throw at her. When we confronted your Contessa shortly after my agent rid the world of those two assassins, she refused to cooperate with us.

As I see it, the question for you is to what extent has this female traitor compromised your department and the government? There may well be other areas that enjoy the splendour of her betrayal and compromise.

It seems I will have to do an investigation into your department.

The killing of the Iron Curtain assassins aside, there is no part of this I am enjoying.

That, all of that, is why we are walking in the park."

Sir Julian: That is quite a lot of bad news.

MI6 Boss: Do you have any thoughts on how you propose to handle that bad news and in particular, the potential compromise of your department and the government by the traitor?

Sir Julian: "A brutal Iron Curtain assassin ... in the heart of Whitehall. This is an unmitigated disaster, 'C'. One we must contain at all costs. My proposal for handling this ... particular stain ... is to establish a Joint, Covert Task Force. It would comprise a small, trusted team from my department, working directly and solely with a liaison from your Service. Their mandate would be to exhaustively audit Contessa's entire operational footprint – her access, her communications, her movements, and crucially, any individuals she may have influenced or compromised. We must demonstrate a swift and decisive response, but one that is completely under wraps. The last thing we need is this becoming fodder for public consumption or, heaven forbid, a diplomatic incident with our allies."

MI6 Boss: “I am convinced you have not fully switched on to this. I am meeting you in a park, not either of our offices, to deliver this bad news to you and you are telling me your concern is becoming fodder for public consumption or a diplomatic incident with our allies.

Your department has been compromised by a traitor. I have no sense of humour about this and very little patience. I should never have had to have this conversation with you. The inquiry is yours, but I will monitor it, and if I do not like it, there will be serious trouble for you.

“I deal with people who want to kill us. There are a lot of them. I do not have time to investigate public servants who allow their departments to be compromised by traitors and who align themselves with people who want to kill us.

“To help you with your deliberations and to assist you in focussing your attention, it will be useful for you to remember, we kill people. The boyfriend of the traitor is now dead and so is his colleague. Switch on to how serious this breach is. My loyalty and the loyalty of my team is to Queen and Country and we serve with pleasure.

“You will do this inquiry and you will do it properly. There is no other option for you.

"I will now return to my office. I suggest you take some time to walk in this park and appreciate its beauty, before you return to your office. And also take some time to appreciate the magnitude of the task ahead of you and how failure is not an option.”

Confronting The Traitor

M2 was not finished with the traitor, Contessa Fortescue. He attended upon her in custody. And he brought some photographs with him to endeavour to enrich her custodial experience.

Introductory pleasantries were minimal from M2. He got straight down to business.

“I watched and waited for three (3) days for my chance with your boyfriend. When he gave it to me, I took it, immediately. And I took his mate with him. You were lucky you were not with them.”

M2 then told Contessa:

“This is how we deal with traitors.”

Channelling Agent Nicky Parsons, M2 showed Contessa photographs of the two (2) now deceased Iron Curtain agents whom Nicky Parsons used as a  human shield (from the Soho gambling den raid and the raid on The Cultural Exchange Bookstore in Bloomsbury.).

“You had your chance to cooperate and you rejected it.

"With human shields as part of our arsenal now, we get to be even more effective in our raids.

"I will enjoy every moment of you being a human shield.”

M2 spent several minutes patiently going through the photographs of the now deceased human shields.

“I am grateful to our crime scenes teams for having the insight to photograph these degenerates after their demise. It enables their utility to continue after their life has been extinguished.

That look of terror on your face is you realising, it is not a matter of if for you, it is a matter of when.”

M2 then collected the photographs and said: “This visit is done.”

M2 then ended his meeting with Contessa Fortescue and made his way to work.

Team Meeting

The day after M2 had his not so romantic interlude with Contessa, Nicky Parsons called a team meeting of The Famous Five. The main topic of discussion was the traitor Contessa Fortescue and what should happen with her.

Nicky proposed a campaign of deliberate psychological torment involving Nicky or Harriet (or both) systematically arranging interviews with Contessa on three (3) separate occasions, only to cancel them on the day of the proposed meeting. The aim being to escalate the anxiety and despair of Contessa.

M1: That sounds like a great plan.

M2: I like it.

Emily: It definitely has a delicious quality to it.

Harriet: What is not to like?

Nicky: That went down even better than I had hoped.

M2: "Does the traitor become one of your human shields?

I would be quite happy to utilise her as a human shield."

Nicky: This is an interesting meeting. The human shield was my next proposed topic of discussion.

M1: The traitor has no utility for MI6, other than as a human shield. She is no different than the Iron Curtain agents you burned in the Soho gambling den raid and the raid on The Cultural Exchange Bookstore in Bloomsbury.

Emily: It looks like we might be looking for a venue to raid.

Harriet: I have a few prospective venues, but there is some material through which I must trawl. Perhaps we could share that load?

Nicky: Ideally it would be a quick, uncomplicated raid.

M1: A repeat of the Bookshop raid?

Nicky: That was the kind of raid I had in mind.

Harriet: My prospective venues generally seem to fit that mould.

Nicky: Things are a bit quiet here at the moment, for which I am grateful. It seems we are available to help you with your trawling.

Do you have a favourite prospective venue?

Harriet: “The most likely venue is a Small Corner Shop with a Back Room in BeBop Circus. It is used as a drop point and a place to store and then pass on sensitive materials. 

The intelligence I have is that sensitive materials are present waiting for an exchange. The hidden back room is where hosting the materials and the exchanges occur.

The sensitive material the subject of the exchange is said to be False Passports and Travel Documents for some undesirable Iron Curtain agents, with the aim of creating false identities for ongoing operations within the UK.

In the circumstances our trawling would be to see if there was a better option and perhaps think of any reason not to use that venue as the raid venue.”

Nicky: “If you can share your trawling load around the team, we can help you.”

The Boss Joins The Team Meeting

It was then that the Boss entered the office of Nicky Parsons.

The Boss: “This is convenient. I can tell you all the news. Sir Julian Finch is the Permanent Under-Secretary at the Foreign Office. Relevantly, he is the boss of your traitorous acquaintance, Contessa Fortescue. He and I have had a chat. Sir Julian will conduct a review of his department, which I will monitor. So you can be comforted that some progress is being made in that area and we can concentrate on our own work.

“Where are my manners? Good morning, agents. 

Now that I have caught you up with the relevant news, I will leave you to continue with your work.

Thank you, agents.”

The boss then left the office of Nicky Parsons and returned to his own office.

Emily: Now I know the Boss does whirlwind visits.

M1: If Sir Julian Finch is conducting a review of his department, the traitor Contessa Fortescue has no utility to offer MI6, other than to be a human shield.

Harriet: That is certainly an interesting take from the news of the Boss. It is also a take with which I agree.

Emily: It seems the raid planning will be intensifying.

M2: There is no reason to spare the traitor from being a human shield.

Nicky: OK, then. It looks like we will be meeting back here tomorrow to refine the raid planning. I will let you know when I settle on a time. In the meantime, Harriet will give us some of her intelligence material, so we can help her with her trawling.

Follow-Up Team Meeting

The discussions in the follow-up team meeting were fairly brief.

• It was agreed Harriet had made the best choice for the raid venue, the BeBop Circus Corner Shop with a Hidden Back Room.

• There was no reason to change the pairings from the raid on The Cultural Exchange Bookstore in Bloomsbury:

• M1 and Agent Emily will cover the back entrance.

• M2, Agent Harriet, Nicky Parsons and the traitor, Contessa Fortescue, will take the front entrance.

• Harriet would again ensure the proposed human shield (Contessa) was available to accompany them on the raid.

• M1 had driving duties and M2 had equipment duties.

The discussion then moved on to whether it would be prudent to have more than just The Famous Five attend the raid from MI6. It was agreed two other teams would attend the raid, because there may be a significant gathering in the hidden room and the extra agents would be required to subdue and secure the transgressors.

Nicky Parsons would take care of organising the extra MI6 agents to attend the raid.

It was proposed they leave from MI6 at 11:00 am, as the meeting they proposed to interrupt was scheduled for noon.

The Raid

Everything went smoothly preparation-wise on the morning of the raid. There seemed to be an air of glee in the Famous Five MI6 vehicle as they approached the pick-up location for their now handcuffed traitor colleague.

When Nicky Parsons appeared to collect her from her MI6 agents was the first time Cintessa learned about her impending adventure.

Upon greeting Contessa and the MI6 colleagues, all that Nicky Parsons said was: “You are coming with me.”

Agent Parsons walked Contessa to the MI6 vehicle and placed her in the back seat. Once Nicky Parsons resumed her seat in the vehicle, she said to Contessa: “You are going on an adventure.”

There was no other conversation until the agents arrived at the raid venue.

As the Famous Five alighted from the vehicle and put on their protective equipment for the raid, M2 had his only conversation with Contessa. And it was very brief: “Judgment day has arrived.”

A rather concerned Contessa asked: What is going on?

Nicky Parsons replied: “This is your adventure.”

The terror was building in Contessa.

As Nicky Parsons grabbed Contessa and placed her directly in front of her, Contessa was saying “No” over and over.

Parsons: Too late, Traitor.”

Parsons grabbed Contessa tight and shoved her through the front door of the Corner Shop.

The raiding agents were greeted by panicked occupants of the Corner Shop, who unleashed a burst of gunfire. Almost all of that gunfire was caught by the human shield, Contessa, as the team had planned and M2 had foreshadowed.

Contessa spent the remainder of the raid on the floor. Her life was now over.

Once the gunfire receded, the panicked corner shop occupants were subdued and handcuffed.

A corner shop staff member was then volunteered by MI6 to provide access to the hidden back room. He did not need to be convinced to cooperate.

By the time the hidden back room was to be breached, all the MI6 agents were in the corner store. All the undesirables in the hidden back room were surprised by the breach, but they did not respond with gunfire. Their response was more akin to freezing, which made their apprehension easier.

Securing the sensitive materials the subject of the meeting and the raid was then a simple task.

Harriet had contacted MI6 for a clean up team by the time the agents returned to the body of the corner shop. And they arrived within 15 minutes.

The raid went smoothly and the Famous Five achieved all their goals.

There was no discussion of Contessa Fortescue in the vehicle on the return journey to MI6 headquarters.

As they were getting close to MI6 headquarters, Emily said: “We should adjourn for lunch before we return to the office.”

M1: Lunch:

M2: Lunch

Harriet: Definitely lunch.

Nicky: Lunch, it is.

M2 Goes Buck Wild

 It was an unusual Intelligence Briefing from Agent Harriet, but it was no less significant than her other style and type of briefing.

Agent Harriet: “There are very scant reports of a serious Iron Curtain assassin relocating to London. If they are true, MI6 is very interested in taking him out.”

The MI6 agents in attendance at the briefing were given a Briefing Folder. That part of the briefing was normal practice.

M2 was in attendance at the briefing and took a Briefing Folder to read. When he returned to his office, he read the folder contents and looked at the photographs. Something about this struck him, but he could not identify what it was. He read the folder contents several times over the ensuing days. There was something about the photographs, also.

M2 said nothing to anyone about this. He kept his thoughts to himself.

One night not too long after the Intelligence Briefing M2 found himself catching a later train than usual home. It was an unremarkable journey until the train approached Modalvale Train Station. He saw a female from another agency, whom he had met once or twice previously, but whose identifying details escaped him, getting rather cosy with a male.

They both walked across the road from the train station to an apartment above the small fruit shop. As fate would have it, technical difficulties meant the M2 train was delayed at the station longer than usual. M2 maintained his interest in the female he thought was familiar to him and her male companion. Shortly before the train left the station to continue its journey, the female and her male companion appeared visible in the apartment. The male turned to face the train station and M2 got a glimpse of him. Immediately, M2 got flashes of the photographs from the Agent Harriet Intelligence Briefing. He was the guy the subject of the Intelligence Briefing, M2 thought.

Home was not far away for M2. When he arrived home, he put down some things he did not want to take with him and returned to the train station. He caught the next train to Modalvale station. M2 then looked around the precincts of Modalvale train station. He noticed across the road from the fruit shop (the other side of the train tracks) was what appeared to be a vacant building. There was an elevated vacancy at the level or just above of the apartment where his female colleague and her friend seemed to be staying. It was a little off centre from that apartment, but it still had good vision. It was an otherwise small and quiet train station.

M2 got a bit of a sense of the immediate area, then went home.

When he attended work the next day, M2 maintained his silence about what he thought he saw. He read the Intelligence Briefing Folder contents again and spent some time looking at the photographs.

His interest in the apparently vacant property adjacent to the Modalvale train station continued. When his train home that evening stopped at the Modalvale train station, M2 focussed his attention on the apparently vacant property. It continued to appear vacant.

As his train to work the next morning was pulling away from Modalvale train station, he was sure he saw his colleague with her cosy companion enter the station platform. Unfortunately all these moments were fleeting glimpses and not something solid upon which he could be certain of what he believed he saw.

Firearm Training

When M2 arrived at work, he made some enquiries about his firearm training. As he suspected, it had been a while since he had been to the MI6 shooting range for firearms training. M2 had a conversation with Agent Harriet about attending the range and undergoing firearms training. He said his desk was light on missions work and this was a useful and necessary way to spend his time. Agent Harriet agreed and arrangements were made for M2 to immediately attend the MI6 shooting range.

Upon arriving at the range, M2 did some handgun training, but he told those in charge at the range that it was sniper training that he thought should be the focus of his attention. No one else was using the sniper facilities, so M2 was easy to accommodate.

M2 was focussed and his session was long. Twice in three days M2 had long sessions at the MI6 shooting range working on his sniper skills. He knew how important it was that he not miss.

During his commute home on that second day of sniper training, M2 was sure he saw the cosy couple again at Modalvale train station and even though his vision of them was fleeting, his plan was solidified.

At work the next day M2 called in to the firearms area of MI6. He was reasonably friendly with one of the staff there and he asked if he might take a sniper suitcase with him, so he could work on his sniper training. His colleague said it was a quiet period, so that should not be a problem.

The Stakeout

With the sniper suitcase now in his possession, M2 made his way to the Modalvale train station precincts and gained access to the vacant premises he had been checking out. The elevation was good and so was the vision, except for when a train was at the station.

M2 had clearly done some preparation for his stakeout. He brought food supplies with him and a sleeping bag. Importantly he set up the sniper rifle and focussed it on the apartment above the small fruit shop across the road. He even brought a radio with him, to keep him company.

That evening the cozy couple made their way to the apartment after work for the day had ended. M2 had good vision of the male, through the sniper rifle sight. But a train interrupted his vision and when the train departed, his male target was no longer in sight.

Even though his sighting was fleeting, M2 was certain he was watching the Iron Curtain assassin the subject of the Agent Harriet Intelligence Briefing.

There were no more sightings that day. The next day M2 saw a different male attend the apartment from the train station. He also jogged the Harriet Intelligence Briefing memory of M2, albeit from an earlier occasion. There was some bad Iron Curtain fruit gathering above the Modalvale fruit shop. 

For three days M2 staked out the apartment above the fruit shop.

The first day of the apparent absence from MI6 was explained by his colleagues as due to firearms training. The second day he was assumed to be away ill. By the third day, his absence was the subject of some discussion. No one knew where he was or where to look for him. He was not answering his telephone at home.

By lunch time on day three of the M2 stakeout, activity at the apartment had escalated. M2 could clearly see he was correct about the male getting cozy with his female colleague. He was the Iron Curtain assassin the subject of the Agent Harriet Intelligence Briefing. M2 just needed a clean shot at him now.

Things got even more interesting when M2 realised that assassin was also hosting another Iron Curtain assassin.

M2 was focussed and waiting for a clean shot opportunity to arise. Luck was with M2. Both Iron Curtain assassins turned to walk towards the open window. M2 had a clean shot opportunity at each of the men.

His primary target was the assassin the subject of the Harriet Intelligence Briefing. M2 did not wait.

With his target clearly in his sniper rifle sight, M2 said: “For Queen and Country” and put two (2) rounds in his forehead.

Before Target 1 hit the floor, Target 2, the other Iron Curtain assassin, had two (2) rounds put in his forehead by M2 and quickly joined Target 1 on the floor.

M2 then went about packing up his sniper rifle kit and then packing up his stakeout site. That was more important than calling in the situation.

Once M2 was packed up, he made his way to the public telephone at the Modalvale train station and telephoned Agent Harriet.

M2: Agent Harriet, Can you organise a clean up team to be sent to the apartment above the fruit shop across the road from Modalvale train station, please.

By the way, the Iron Curtain assassin the subject of your recent Intelligence Briefing will no longer be a problem. A colleague of his will also no longer be troubling us.

I am not sure how long that takes to organise, but there seems to be a female from another one of our agencies who is (or was) apparently involved with your now late Iron Curtain friend and she definitely seems to be worthy of a candid discussion.

I am at the Modalvale train station. I will wait until you guys arrive.

Agent Harriet: I will take care of it for you.

The call then ended.

The Famous Five Go To Modalvale Train Station

Agent Harriet then telephoned Nicky Parsons: Come and see me, now. Do not delay.

Agent Harriet then made arrangements for a clean up team to attend, as M2 requested.

5 minutes later Nicky Parsons was in the office of Harriet.

Harriet closed the door.

Harriet: M2 has been located. It seems he was working. He just asked for a clean up team to attend near Modalvale train station. Apparently the situation is not completed. There is a female part of the puzzle who is unlikely to know of the news and has yet to be located. It is probably a good idea to get Emily and M1 and go to the Modalvale train station. I am confident I do not need to do any more organising here, so I can accompany you, if you consider it appropriate.

Parsons: I will get Emily and M1 and we can all catch a train to Modalvale. We will be back to collect you shortly.

Before Harriet, Nicky, Emily and M1 left for the train station, Harriet said: “It is sufficient for present purposes to say, there is a situation in the vicinity of Modalvale train station. When we arrive there, M2 can expand upon the details.”

As Harriet foreshadowed, when The Famous Five gathered at Modalvale train station, a relaxed and calm M2 found a spot away from unnecessary ears and explained what had transpired. More correctly, he told them enough of what transpired for them to be informed. He may not have told them everything.

The MI6 clean up team had been and gone from the apartment where the situation occurred. The Famous Five were now potentially waiting for the female involved to arrive either at the station or the apartment. With the explanation of M2 now complete, the agents positioned themselves so they could monitor both the train (and passengers) arrival and departure and the apartment.

After about an hour, M2 told his colleagues the female in question had just alighted from a train and he identified her.

Nicky Parsons: I think I know her. I will go and introduce myself to her.

Emily: The rest of us will wait here for you.

Liaising with The Liaison Officer

Agent Parsons approached the subject female as she was making her way to the exit of the train station:

“Contessa Fortescue, I have not seen you for ages.”

Contessa: Agent Parsons from MI6?

Parsons: Correct

Contessa: What brings you to this part of town?

Parsons: You. We are going to walk over to my colleagues and then we are going to have a chat. This is not a time for you to argue or be heroic.

Contessa: What is this about?

Parsons: We can chat when we get to my colleagues.

Contessa complied with the request of agent Parsons and they walked over to the rest of The Famous Five.

When they arrived, agent Parsons asked Contessa: Can you clarify something for me. You are employed as a mid-level liaison officer between the government and MI6?

Contessa: Yes.

Parsons: Please wait here with my colleagues. I have to make a telephone call.

Agent Parsons then proceeded to the public telephone and called the secretary to the Boss.

“Hello, Miss Secretary.”

Secretary: Hello, Agent Parsons

Parsons: I need to speak to the Boss about a sensitive issue. The kind where we do not want unnecessary ears.

Secretary: Wait on. I will let him know.

He is waiting to speak with you. I will put you through.

Parsons: Hello, Sir. There is a sensitive situation at Modalvale train station. I am sure we could find a park nearby to discuss it.

Boss: A park, Agent Parsons?

Parsons: One with very few ears. Near Modalvale train station, which is where I am now.

Boss: A park, Agent Parsons?

Parsons: Definitely a park, Sir, and only your lovely secretary needs to know you are coming here. If you take the train, Sir, you will not have to trouble yourself with the complications of a driver and a motor vehicle. It is a short train ride.

Boss: I will be at the Modalvale train station as soon as I can.

Parsons: Thank you, Sir.

The call ended and Agent Parsons returned to her colleagues and Contessa Fortescue.

Parsons: Interesting choice of yours for a boyfriend, Contessa. An Iron Curtain assassin and a brutal one, at that.

Emily: A mid-level liaison officer between the government and MI6 with a brutal Iron Curtain assassin for a boyfriend. That is not complicated at all.

M2: Perhaps more than one.

Emily: Oh, this keeps getting better.

Harriet: I really want to see the paperwork where the government has approved a mid-level liaison officer between the government and MI6 having a brutal Iron Curtain assassin for a boyfriend.

M1: More than one brutal Iron Curtain assassin for a boyfriend. Clearly you like to live dangerously.

Meanwhile Agent Parsons was talking to M2.: Is there a park nearby this train station?

M2: Yes. There is a cricket field one street over.

Parsons: Wonderfully helpful of Modalvale.

The Boss Joins The Liaison with The Liaison Officer

The Boss arrived shortly thereafter.

Agent Parsons walked over to greet him.

After the exchange of greetings, Agent Parsons said: M2 tells me there is a cricket field one street over. That provisionally seems a better venue to discuss a mid-level liaison officer between the government and MI6 having a brutal Iron Curtain assassin for a boyfriend.

Boss: Have you thought of improving the quality of your friends, Agent Parsons?

Parsons: This job certainly attracts a lot of undesirables, Sir. Let us all adjourn to the nearby cricket field.

When the Boss joined the group he said to M2: Suburban tour guide was not a talent I was aware you possessed, M2.

M2: Today you get to see it first hand, Sir.

M2 then lead his colleagues and their guest to the nearby cricket field, which was populated only by a few birds.

Boss: Miss Fortescue, I was not aware you had such a creative interest in international relations.

Agent Parsons: Where are my manners? Contessa Fortescue, mid-level liaison officer between the government and MI6, please meet the Boss of MI6. It is easier if you address him as Sir.

Contessa: What is going on here?

Boss: Miss Fortescue, It seems you have made my job, all of our jobs, rather complicated.

Please explain to me how a mid-level liaison officer between the government and MI6 could possibly be unaware her boyfriend was a brutal Iron Curtain assassin.

M2: In order to assist you in your deliberations, Miss, I can assure you that there are no circumstances where your assassin boyfriend is going to save you.

Boss: We also have to work out what to do with you. One option is very attractive, but it does not help us identify the extent of the damage you have caused.

Harriet: Start talking, Miss Fortescue. That means not lying.

Boss: You are not returning to your job until this is sorted out. That may mean you spend some time in MI6 custody.

Contessa: He is not my boyfriend.

M2: I routinely get that cozy with women who are not my girlfriend.

Harriet: This is not going well for you, Miss.

Boss: Your Boss is not going to enjoy me telling him I will have to do an investigation of his entire office to determine the extent of the breach and compromise you have caused.

Parsons: Contessa, I can assure you Agent Harriet is not looking for her purse.

Boss: I had hoped you were just a silly, love struck fool. It seems you were in for the full pound, not just a penny. You can expect to be charged with everything we can throw at you and your future will involve a long period in custody.

You can console yourself with the fact, if you were at your apartment earlier this afternoon, you would not be alive now to have this conversation.

Boss: I have seen and heard enough. We can now return to the office. I have some bad news to deliver to the boss of our traitor colleague.

All That Jazz

Intelligence Gathering and Planning

Harriet gathered the MI6 agents for a thorough intelligence briefing on the latest relevant Bad Guy. This one was an Iron Curtain scientist, who had a predilection for attending the modest Regent Theatre. Her intelligence suggested the Iron Curtain scientist would be attending an opening night of a movie about a jazz musician at that modest Regent Theatre.

As was her practice, Harriet included the preparation of a detailed Profile Folder as part of her intelligence briefing.

Subsequent to that intelligence briefing, Nicky Parsons collaborated with M1 to develop a detailed mission plan for the neutralisation of the Iron Curtain scientist. This preparation included selecting a strategic sniper site across the street from the venue. The sniper site was a vacant office that sat at about 45 degrees from the foyer of the Regent Theatre.

Harriet recruited M2 for the post-event chauffeur duties.

The Sniper Operation

Regent Theatre movie opening night arrived. Nicky Parsons, M1 and his suitcase containing the sniper rifle and associated goodies made their way to the vacant office across the street from the Regent Theatre. Nicky helped M1 set up, which did not take long.

Her final words to M1 before she left the sniper site to go to the Regent Theatre across the road were:

“For Queen and country, M1. For Queen and country. Take this guy out.”

Agent Parsons then positioned herself casually within the open foyer of the Regent Theatre and blended in with the opening night crowd. Not ten (10) minutes had passed before Agent Parsons identified the Iron Curtain scientist target.

Nicky Parsons grabbed the scientist and almost whispered in his ear:

"Come for a walk with me."

Her firearm against his ribs was a silent, but potent persuader.

Agent Parsons walked the scientist to the footpath in a fashion similar to a hostage taker using a hostage as a shield.

Agent Parsons then positioned the Iron Curtain scientist in a clear line of sight for M1 and seemed to signal or wave with her hand to someone across the road.

Her arms that were holding the Iron Curtain scientist were now outstretched in their hold on him and sniper M1 clinically took out the scientist. Two (2) clean shots to his forehead.

Nicky released her hold on the scientist, who then fell to the ground, and she blended back into the now-agitated crowd. Her mission objective had been achieved. The agitation and low level chaos of the gathered crowd made the departure of Agent Parsons from the scene easier.

Having successfully completed his part of the mission, M1 began to pack up the sniper site. Agent Parsons soon joined him and helped him to pack his sniper suitcase.

As soon as Agent Parsons and M1 made their way to the footpath outside the sniper site building, they were greeted by M2 in an unmarked MI6 vehicle. Parsons and M1 were a little surprised to see him. Once they were in the vehicle, M2 and his passengers departed the scene.

M2 said to Nicky Parsons: “Turns out you did not need backup or help with the takedown, so I was on telephone duties. The MI6 clean up crew are already doing their business.”

M1: Nice work, M2.

M2: Good shooting, M1.

Parsons: Thank you, M2.

M2: We have to deliver a suitcase to MI6. Did I hear you say “Then steak sandwiches”, Agent Parsons?

M1: Steak sandwiches.

Parsons: Steak sandwiches.

Stuffy Shirts

Four days pass. Life at MI6 continued, with the usual mix of briefings, paperwork, and clandestine operations. There was no lingering discussion or emotional fallout from the Iron Curtain scientist and sniper incident (at least not overtly). Nicky Parsons carried on with her duties, her demeanor unchanged, as did M1.

Then Emily decided to visit Harriet in her office, unannounced.

Emily said to Harriet: Miss Harriet, I have it on good authority that you are a stuffy shirt.

Harriet: A stuffy shirt, Miss Abernathy?

Emily: Indeed, Miss Harriet, a stuffy shirt. And do you know what stuffy shirts do, Miss Harriet? They use these tickets and go and see Lou Donaldson play at the Albert Theatre tonight.

Harriet: Miss Parsons looks like a stuffy shirt, Miss Abernathy.

Emily: Perhaps you could accompany me to the office of Miss Parsons and assist me in convincing Miss Parsons to utilise this ticket with her name on it.

Harriet: Three (3) stuffy shirts, the Albert Theatre and Lou Donaldson?

Emily: Yes, Miss Harriet.

Harriet: Lead the way to the office of this Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons.

Three (3) minutes later the ladies were in the office of Nicky Parsons.

Emily: Miss Parsons, There is strong evidence to suggest that you are a stuffy shirt. And because you are a stuffy shirt, I am in possession of a ticket with your name on it for tonight, to attend the Albert Theatre. The ticket says you will be in the presence of Lou Donaldson.

Nicky: A stuffy shirt? Really, Miss Abernathy. A stuffy shirt? When might the presence of Lou Donaldson commence?

Emily: 7:30 pm.

Harriet: Three (3) stuffy shirts at the Albert Theatre.

Nicky: Would these stuffy shirts need to eat before their attendance at the Albert Theatre?

Emily: Of course.

Nicky: It looks like we will need to leave work early to properly utilise those tickets.

Harriet: We will not even have to change our shoes.

Emily: Three (3) stuffy shirts and the Albert Theatre, it is then.

Nicky: I have my handbag and coat. Let us collect your handbags and coats and be on our way.

Emily and Harriet: Splendid.

Lou Donaldson (1962) Gravy Train

Three (3) days after the three (3) stuffy shirts attended the Lou Donaldson concert, which they thoroughly enjoyed, they had a team meeting in the office of Nicky Parsons. Nicky presented M1 with a new copy of the Lou Donaldson Gravy Train album.

As she did so, she said to M1: “In the future, when we go on missions, we do not want to have any issues about jazz albums not being returned to you.”

M2: Laughed first.

M1: Laughed a little more slowly.

The three (3) stuffy shirts then joined in the laughter.

The Planner's Dream Goes Wrong

Some months after her stuffy shirts Lou Donaldson concert adventure, Agent Harriet knew some intelligence had crossed her desk regarding two (2) Iron Curtain organisers and assassins. Their primary mission was to coordinate all existing Iron Curtain operatives in the city, effectively establishing a unified and efficient London office for their network.

Harriet decided to approach Nicky Parsons in her officer with this intelligence and ask her if it warranted an intelligence briefing.

Parsons replied: Yes, it does.

Harriet: Thank you: I will organise an MI6 intelligence briefing shortly.

That Harriet intelligence briefing revealed to the MI6 agents in attendance of the arrival in London of two (2) key Iron Curtain agent organisers and their mission to consolidate their network in London.

Agent Nicky Parsons recognised the strategic threat these newly arrived Iron Curtain agents posed and devised a counter-operation. The uncooperative nature of Dieter and his likely standing within the Iron Curtain network was also known to Agent Parsons, he had been in MI6 custody for about six (6) months and was not forthcoming with any meaningful information, so she proposed using him as bait in a mission to capture the two (2) new arrivals. Her proposition was that a public statement be carefully crafted and released, painting Dieter as no longer considered to be a collaborator.

Upon release of that MI6 statement, as anticipated, its news reached the two (2) newly arrived assassins, who then saw Dieter as a threat to their organisational plans and a potential source of damaging information. In turn, they made plans to take swift and decisive action to eliminate him.

Unbeknownst to the Iron Curtain agent organisers, under the direction of Agent Parsons, MI6 had them under close surveillance. As they carried out their hit on Dieter, within 24 hours of the release of the public statement by MI6, MI6 teams then moved in and apprehended the now hapless two (2) key Iron Curtain organisers.

Upon their capture and incarceration in MI6 custody, Agent Parsons had a conversation with the two (2) key Iron Curtain agent organisers.

Parsons: “Convenient of you two to murder the uncooperative Dieter, and no doubt you will be convicted of his murder. You two also have future utility for us as potential bait in subsequent operations. Clearly you thought through your plan thoroughly. And for that, we are grateful.”

The hapless two (2) key Iron Curtain organisers looked at each other, as they realised their future was rather more complicated than they had planned.

The Stuffy Shirts Shop In Carnaby Street, Again

Around morning tea time one Thursday, Emily noticed Harriet walking past her office, so she went to see her and invited her back to her office. Once the two (2) agents were in the office of Emily Abernathy, Emily asked Harriet:

“Can I interest you in another stuffy shirts outing?

I propose this Saturday morning we take up the offer of Hildegarde, the West German girlfriend of Agent Manchester, who works in a clothing store in Carnaby Street, and venture into a second Saturday morning trip to Carnaby Street for shopping. Hildegarde may even be able to organise “a friendly discount”, if we see something we like.

And we can follow the shopping with tea and muffins in a nearby café?”

Harriet: The stuffy shirts to return Carnaby Street for some shopping in the Hildegarde store?

Emily: And then some tea and muffins.

Harriet: That sounds like a splendid idea.

Emily: Feel like a walk to the office of Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons to see if she is interested in accompanying us?

Harriet: Lead the way, Miss Stuffy Shirt Abernathy.

Five minutes later all three (3) stuffy shirts were in the office of Nicky Parsons.

Emily then addressed Nicky Parsons: Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons, If you carefully consult your calendar, I am sure you will find that this Saturday morning, you have a shopping commitment in Carnaby Street, and in particular the clothing store of Hildegarde, the West German girlfriend of Agent Manchester.

Nicky: My calendar says the Carnaby Street shopping will be followed by tea and muffins in a nearby café.  Are we talking about the same commitment?

Harriet: Indeed, Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons. Three (3) stuffy shirts shopping in Carnaby Street and then tea and muffins in a nearby café.

Nicky: Are we meeting downstairs in front of this building at 10:30 am on Saturday?

Emily: Yes. Then we will make our way to Carnaby Street.

Nicky: Splendid.

Harriet: Splendid.

Emily: Excellent. We will leave you now and return to our offices.

Saturday morning arrived and the three stuffy shirts made their way to the Carnaby Street clothing store of Hildegarde without incident. Whilst they were in the store, Harriet identified an Iron Curtain target, who was shopping in the store with a female companion. She then told the other two (2) Stuffy Shirts of her discovery. Emily responded promptly by tripping the target, causing him to fall to the ground.

Nicky Parsons then spoke to the target: “On your stomach, Grigorovich, and stay there.”

By then Agent Parsons had drawn her firearm and it was aimed at the target.

Once Grigorovich was on his stomach, Agent Parson put away her firearm and placed her handcuffs on him, securing his hands behind his back.

Grigorovich remained silent while Emily approached Hildegarde to use the store telephone and call the episode in to MI6. Emily told Hildegarde it was quicker and easier to use the store telephone, rather than go outside and look for a public telephone.

Hildegarde agreed without complaint. She felt she was not only cooperating with the authorities, she was assisting her friends.

The events in her store that morning meant Hildegarde got to see first hand what her three stuffy shirt friends actually do. She saw the stuffy shirts quickly go from shopping mode into work mode and that they did their job quickly and efficiently. Hildegarde also got to hear the short Emily telephone call to MI6.

Within 15 minutes MI6 colleagues of the stuffy shirts were taking away the target to MI6 headquarters.

The three stuffy shirts told Hildegarde that bit of unplanned excitement was enough for their attendance at the store that morning and they proposed the four (4) women go to tea and muffins again after Hildegarde finished work. Hildegarde agreed.

Whilst eating their muffins and drinking their tea, Nicky Parsons said to Hildegarde:

“It is pretty hard for us to keep what we do a secret from you, if you are going to host shopping expeditions for our targets."

Hildegarde: This way I get to see what you do and invite you back again for more shopping and more tea and muffins,

Harriet: More shopping. More tea and muffins.

Emily: Her argument certainly has its compelling features.

Laughter then engulfed their café table.

Make It Look Routine

 M1 was not sure when he first noticed Miss Natasha but she kept sparking his interest as he overheard bits of conversation from her, when their paths intersected at morning tea and lunch breaks and the occasional MI6 corridor pass. Something seemed out of place about the conversation excerpts he overheard from her.

In those conversation excerpts, M1 thought he heard Miss Natasha show an occasional use of terms more at home behind the Soviet Iron Curtain. He also thought those conversation excerpts showed Miss Natasha with a faint, almost imperceptible accent of the Soviet variety. However, he conceded he was not paying close attention to her or her conversation.

After about six (6) weeks of what he thought was unusual conversation excerpts, he decided to approach Agent Nicky Parsons to share his thoughts about Miss Natasha with her and run his plan by Agent Parsons.

Fortunately for M1, Agent Parsons was both in her office when he called on her and she had some time to speak with him. When M1 took a seat in her office, she closed the door to her office. The essence of the plan was for M1 to attempt to be a date for Miss Natasha and see if that friendship revealed any unusual behaviour.

Agent Parson then telephoned Agent Harriet and asked her to come to her office immediately. Agent Harriet replied she had nothing pressing to do at that time, so she would immediately proceed to the office of Nicky Parsons.

When Agent Harriet arrived at her office, Nicky Parsons again closed the door and gave Harriet an overview of the discussion with M1.

Parsons: Agent Harriet, I propose that you give our colleague, M1, here, a class or 3 from MI6 on how to be an undercover agent date. Are you interested? Do you have any thoughts?

Harriet: Boring MI6 textbook stuff, Agent Parsons?

Parsons: Indeed. But M1 will learn from that text book what he might expect from that date situation and how to keep the team and MI6 informed.

Harriet: Are we pre-planning for a mission?

Parsons: Call it preparation.

Harriet: Sure. No problems.

Parsons: Looks like school is in for you, M1. Agent Harriet can tell you shortly, after she has sorted out her rough lesson plan, the details of those private lessons, so the rest of MI6 does not get to hear about them.

Parsons: M1, are you happy with my plan?

M1: Yes.

Parsons: I will also talk to Agent Emily to see if she has any intelligence on the subject of your work desires, M1.

Parsons: Are we happy with my plan?

Harriet: Yes.

M1: Yes.

Parsons: OK. I will co-ordinate with you when we need to get together again.

Thank you both. We can now return to the non-romantic part of our jobs.

Harriet and M1 laughed as they returned to their offices.

Back To School, MI6 Style

By about 3:30 pm Harriet had M1 back in school, MI6 style, in a conference room she used from time to time, when not all of MH6 needed to know what was going on. M1 was surprised to learn MI6 really did have a guide to having an office romance, when your prospective romantic partner is suspected of being a double agent.

Agent Harriet: You get to kill people, M1. I get to kill romance and try to keep you from being killed in the process..

MI1: I now know three (3) killer woman. I had not expected to add you to the list with Agent Parsons and Agent Emily.

Harriet: Let us hope your prospective girlfriend does not get herself added to your List of Killer Woman, M1. A lot of time, money and effort has gone into training you.

Harriet: The aim is for you not to have an actual romance with this woman, M1. If you do, dealing with both of you becomes so much more complicated.

M1 thought he might see some strange things in his vocation as an MI6 agent. Going back to school to learn how to have an office romance with a woman who may be a double agent may be the strangest so far.

Harriet: I hope you have been paying attention, M1. You are not getting a Profile Folder on office romances from me.

After about thirty (30) minutes of very unromantic discussion about undercover office romances, Harriet and M1 returned to her office.

Nicky Parsons and Emily Abernathy

Shortly after her discussion with M1 and Harriet, Nicky Parsons telephoned Emily Abernathy and set out the M1 -  Natasha situation.

Emily: Oh, Natasha. Yes, I have noticed her. Why don’t we send Natasha and M1 on a language course, external to the MI6 office. That is the sort of stuff which is routine for Harriet to organise and not suspicious. M1 and Natasha could go together and that would be their introduction.

Nicky: Excellent plan. Are you available to have a meeting in my office in 10 minutes?

Emily: Yes.

Nicky: Good. See you in 10. I will call M1 and Harriet and get them to join us.

Nicky then rang each of Harriet and M1: Meeting in my office in 10 minutes.

10 minutes later Nicky Parsons, Emily Abernathy, Agent Harriet and Agent M1 were gathered in the Parsons office for the meeting.

Parsons: Emily has an excellent plan and it involves more school for you M1. This time you are off to a language course, external to the MI6 office, and your girlfriend Natasha is going with you. Attending the course together will facilitate your introduction to each other. Harriet will coordinate the course attendance for each of you. It will be sold as a business as usual event for both Natasha and you.

Parsons: Is this plan workable for you, Harriet?

Harriet: Totally. M1 can properly report to me about the language course. Business as usual. I can also ensure he is being a good undercover boyfriend. I can also liaise with Natasha about the language course and its progress.

Parsons: Excellent. Can you please let me know when you have finalised the details of the language course? I will then get the four (4) of us together to go over the progress of the plan.

Parsons: Does anyone have any questions?

Emily, Harriet and M1: No.

Parsons: M1, Do you have any questions or thoughts?

M1: There sure is a lot of school involved in going on a date at MI6.

Emily: MI6 likes to take the fun out of everything.

Parsons: Thank you, everyone. It looks like this meeting is over.

It took Harriet just over an hour to finalise the details of the proposed language course for Natasha and M1. She then invited Natasha to her office to go over the relevant details as they would apply to her. Harriet told Natasha MI6 send agents on courses like this from time to time. This time it was her turn. There was no objection from Natasha.

Natasha also raised no objection when she was told M1 would be accompanying her to the language course.

Language Course

When language course day arrived, MI6 staff transported M1 and Natasha to the venue, an office on level 20 of 25 in a city office building. Conversation between M1 and Natasha during that commute was minimal and pleasant. The course itself was not controversial and the agents seemed to get some benefit from it.

As the course broke for the day, the script took an unexpected turn. M1 noticed Natasha had a companion who was not a language course attendee, nor was he her chauffeur. That role was performed by MI6. M1 decided to approach Natasha and Igor, the unfriendly boyfriend.

M1: Mr Igor, Natasha tells me that you have my new release Don Wilkerson jazz album Preach Brother!. I am very keen for that album to be returned to me. I think you should go home immediately and retrieve it. I do not have a sense of humour about people retaining my records, Mr Igor. Best you leave immediately.

Igor was not sure what to make of M1, but he left Natasha and the scene immediately.

M1: Agent Natasha, Igor seems a very unfriendly boyfriend and most certainly out of place here. Do you and I need to talk? You can tell me or you can tell MI6. I am easy either way.

Natasha was clearly unsettled by what unfolded after the language course broke for the day.

After several moments of silence, Natasha said to M1:

It is sufficient for the moment to say that someone in my family is being pressured by bad guys from Team Iron Curtain. I have been under stress from those Team Iron Curtain bad guys for some time. Nevertheless, I am not cooperating with them. Their presence here today was a surprise.

M1: It appears these Team Iron Curtain bad guys are following you. How they got the details of this location is concerning. It seems your home and office will need to be swept for bugs. Do not panic. I know someone at MI6 with whom you can chat about this. Come with me while I make a telephone call.

M1 found a public telephone booth nearby and rang Agent Harriet:

Agent Harriet, Cancel the chauffeur you planned to send us and recruit M2 for the job. There has been a bit of a situation and I think The Famous Five need to have a walk in the park.

Harriet: M1, A situation?

M1: Yes

Harriet: A walk in the park?

M1: Yes

Harriet: The Famous Five?

M1: Yes.

Harriet: All of them?

M1: Yes.

Harriet: M2 will be there in 15 minutes.

While they waited for M2 to arrive and play chauffeur for them, Natasha relaxed a little and there was some light conversation.

Natasha: Do you really have the new release Don Wilkerson jazz album Preach Brother!?

M1: Yes. Grant Green plays guitar on the album and Sonny Clark plays piano. And your unfriendly boyfriend, Igor, cannot borrow it.

M2 then arrived and took the three (3) of them the short trip to MI6 headquarters car park.

Harriet Gets Organised

Harriet then rang M2 and told him of his immediate job as a chauffeur.

Harriet then rang Nicky Parsons: Nicky can you get Emily and come to my office immediately. It seems a walk in the park is required.

Nicky: OK.

Within 5 minutes Nicky and Emily were in the office of Harriet. Harriet then told them of the telephone call from M1.

Nicky: We should meet M2 and his passengers in the MI6 car park and he can take us to a different park.

Harriet: I think I know a park that would be good for this kind of walking.

Emily: The car park awaits.

About 5 minutes later M2 arrived at the MI6 car park with M1 and Natasha.

Nicky, Emily and Harriet joined them in the now rather cosy vehicle and Harriet told M2 of their destination.

Once they arrived at Harriet Park, they were the only people using the park.

M1 then proceeded to tell the agents about the situation at the language course and his suggestion that the home and office of Natasha will need to be swept for bugs.

M1: Where are my manners? Natasha, Meet The Famous Five: Agent Nicky Parsons, Agent Emily Abernathy, Agent Harriet and Agent M2, and me.

Natasha, a little perplexed: Hello.

Parsons: We are meeting here to try to reduce the likelihood of the wrong ears hearing our conversation.

Natasha: The Famous Five?

Emily: For someone whose home and office needs to be swept for bugs and who had an unscheduled visit from an unfriendly boyfriend, you are a bit slow on the uptake.

Harriet: I will organise for your home and office to be swept for bugs. I will try to make it look routine.

You have day 2 of the language course to complete tomorrow.

Parsons: M2, I think you should also go tomorrow and provide outside the classroom surveillance of the scene.

M1: Is this coming together for you, Natasha?

Natasha: Yes, Thank you.

Emily: This walk in the park seems done. M2, Can you now return us to MI6 headquarters, please?

M2: Sure.

Language Course Day 2

When day 2 of the language course arrived, it was resplendent with the familiarity of day 1. MI6 staff transported M1 and Natasha to the venue, an office on level 20 of 25 in a city office building. Minimal and pleasant conversation between M1 and Natasha again populated that commute. Once again, the course itself presented no controversies and the agents seemed to view it beneficially.

In accordance with the request by Nicky Parsons, M2 was present outside the office where the course was being conducted. He also did surveillance on the ground surrounding the subject building.

Igor, the unfriendly boyfriend was also in the precincts of the building and he did not seem to have the new release Don Wilkerson jazz album Preach Brother! with him. However, he did seem to have two (2) friends with him and they did not look like jazz fans either.

When M2 noticed these three (3) not fans of jazz, he telephoned MI6 and suggested some more agents attend the scene.

Old habits die hard for Igor. As day 2 of the language course ended, he had another unfriendly boyfriend confrontation with Natasha on the walkway outside the level 20 office that hosted the course. Igor was clearly escalating his intensity with Natasha and M1 approached him. Igor was berating Natasha but also aware of the approaching M1.

As Igor drew his firearm and pointed it at Natasha, M1 launched himself at Igor. The firearm discharged and Natasha took the shot in her stomach. Her injury courtesy of Team Iron Curtain bad guy, Igor was serious but not fatal. The immediate result saw her fall to the ground in severe pain and quite a lot of bleeding.

After the discharge of the firearm, the impact of the body of M1 crashing into Igor was that he dropped his firearm. There then ensued a fierce physical confrontation between the two (2) men. During that confrontation, an opportunity presented itself and M1 did not hesitate. Cool as a cucumber, M1 tipped Igor over the rails of level 20 of the office building.

As Igor was speeding to the ground below, M1 addressed him:

"I told you to bring my new release Don Wilkerson jazz album Preach Brother! with you. You chose not to do so. That is a mistake you will never make again."

It would be the last time Igor would be a bad boyfriend or any kind of boyfriend.

Even though Natasha was on the ground, seriously wounded from the gunshot she took courtesy of Igor, she was coherent and had a close unobstructed view of M1 fatally neutralising the Igor threat. She gasped in horror as Igor sailed over the level 20 rails and fell to the ground below.

The sound of gun fire drew the attention of M2. He was now very close to M1. He noticed the other two (2) not fans of jazz approaching from behind Igor. M2 drew his firearm and took them both out.

M2: M1, are you OK?

M1: Yes.

M2: You stay here with Natasha. I will call this in.

M2 then proceeded to the ground floor and a public telephone booth.

He rang MI6: Send a clean up team to the language course site. Also medical transport is required for a gunshot wound.

Within 10 minutes an MI6 transport team was taking Natasha to a private MI6 medical facility.

M1 and M2 then made their way back to MI6 headquarters.

M1 had barely taken his seat upon returning to his office, when The Famous Five gathered there for an impromptu meeting.

Nicky Parsons: This calls for steak sandwiches, M1. Are you up for it?

Emily: At the M2 café.

Harriet: Come on, M1, steak sandwiches.

M1: Steak sandwiches.

After The Famous Five arrived at the M2 café and ordered their meals, conversation ensued. A great deal of it involved praise for M1 and his intuition. It solved a real problem, even though he did not initially see it.

Harriet: You told me you know two (2) killer women, M1. Are you now a killer boyfriend?

The table hosting the Famous Five erupted in laughter.

Lowlife Music Manager

Mr Loudmouth

Jason Haldis arrived at their usual lunch spot, a quiet corner table at a discreet café, and immediately noticed the subtle tension radiating from Hermione McEwen. Her usual composed demeanor was fractured by a tightly controlled anger, a rare sight that sent a cold ripple through him.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice low, cutting through the gentle hum of the café.

Hermione recounted an encounter at the coffee shop earlier that morning – emboldened by some perceived slight or perhaps simply malicious intent, a man who was completely unknown to her had been verbally abusive and insulting to her. As she spoke, the ice in her veins seemed to thicken, a sign of deep, controlled fury.

A dangerous stillness settled over Jason. No one treated Hermione that way, he thought.

"Where is he now?" he asked, his gaze sharp.

Hermione gave a brief description and the location of the coffee shop, a place not too far from their current location.

Without another word, Jason rose from his seat. "Wait here," he replied, his tone leaving no room for argument.

He walked with an unhurried yet purposeful stride towards the coffee shop. As he scanned the patrons, his eyes sharp and assessing, it did not take Jason long to locate the man who was going to enjoy the pleasure of his company. There was a lingering air of unpleasantness around Mr Loudmouth, even in his solitary coffee consumption.

Jason approached Mr Loudmouth, the Haldis presence radiating a quiet menace that seemed to prickle the air. Jason sat down at the table and leaned in close, his voice a low rumble that would not carry to nearby tables.

"You had some words for my friend earlier," he stated, his eyes locking onto the eyes of Mr Loudmouth. The initial smugness of Mr Loudmouth flickered and was replaced by a dawning unease.

The urge to simply end the Mr Loudmouth problem permanently was a potent current within Jason Haldis, but years of staying in the shadows had honed his restraint. He needed to make a statement, ensure the trouble-maker understood the gravity of his transgression, but leave no trace that could lead back to him.

Jason leaned closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper, laced with a chilling certainty. "You will never speak to her, or about her, in that manner again. If you do, the consequences will be … far more significant than a bruised ego."

Jason held the gaze of the trouble-maker for a long, silent moment, letting the threat sink in. Sensing the genuine danger emanating from this quiet stranger, Mr Loudmouth swallowed hard and nodded almost imperceptibly.

Jason continued: Are we clear? Do I need to take your contact details, so I can check on you?

Mr Loudmouth (Now terrified): No, Sir. That will not be necessary. The message is very clear.”

Satisfied that his message had been received and understood, Jason rose from his seat and turned away, melting back into the flow of the coffee shop patrons.

He then returned to Hermione McEwen at their café table.

"I had a productive chat with your friend," he said simply, as he sat down.

Hermione placed her hand on the hand of Jason as he sat down and softly said “Thank you”.

New Work Proposition

Her equilibrium soon returned to its normal level and Hermione said to Jason: "I wanted to discuss something with you. A potential … opportunity."

Jason raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh? This sounds like something that could be more comfortably discussed at your house.”

Hermione: Are you suggesting we get takeaway from here and go to my place?"

Jason: “Good call, Hermione."

A small smile touched the lips of Hermione: "I am not really in the mood for polite café chatter right now, anyway."

They ordered their food, the exchange with café staff brief and efficient.

Once they had their takeaway containers, they left the café and made their way to Hermione's residence, the earlier tension slowly dissipating.

The Hermione Residence

Functional and uncluttered, the home of Hermione reflected her methodical nature. They settled at a small table, the aroma of the takeaway filling the air. As they began to eat, Hermione laid out a few documents.

Hermione: A parent of one of the members of a local rock music band approached me. We know each other. We are friendly. The band is an up-and-coming rock music group. Apparently, they have been generating some significant buzz and decent revenue from gigs and recording releases.

Jason: A band? What is the opportunity? Protecting them from overzealous fans or ridiculous music critics?

Does she want me to whack a music critic? That is the sort of thing you do for fun.

Hermione: (A wry smile) Not exactly. My parent friend became concerned because the band has not seen any real financial return, despite their apparent success. Their manager, with a flamboyant name and less impressive accounting, seems to be consistently deflecting inquiries about their earnings.

Jason: So, a dodgy manager skimming off the top? That is hardly our usual fare.

Hermione: There is more. My initial look at the limited financial information the parent could access suggests Mr Flamboyant is not just taking a cut. The funds are being systematically siphoned off, and the paper trail, though deliberately obscured, points towards significant real estate investments … overseas.

Jason paused his eating, his interest piqued. "Overseas real estate investments? So more than simple mismanagement."

Hermione: Precisely. My parent friend fears the band is being completely fleeced, and Mr Flamboyant is preparing to do a runner overseas.

She approached me because she wanted to know if my creative talents could determine the extent of the damage and, if possible, recover the stolen funds.

Jason: And where do we fit in? Are we retrieving the money, or dealing with Mr Flamboyant?

Hermione: That depends on what we find. The priority is to ascertain the extent of the activities of Mr Flamboyant. The parent is primarily concerned with the band's future and the finances that have been denied to them.

Jason considered this, the aroma of the takeaway now secondary to the potential complexities of the case. A rock band, a dodgy manager, and offshore real estate. It was certainly a departure from their usual clientele, but the underlying injustice and potential for more intrigued him.

Jason: Alright, Hermione. Let's take a look at the band and their books.

Hermione: You may need to curtail your music critic culling activities and assist Mr Flamboyant in having an unfortunate accident that keeps him in the country while I look further into his finances.

Jason: You are back to your old self. That was what I was thinking might be my involvement.

Mr Flamboyant

The next day Hermione turned her attention to the less than impressive accounting of Mr Flamboyant and in particular his predilection for purchasing foreign based real estate.

It was clear to Hermione pretty quickly that Mr Flamboyant had a particular attraction to the Caribbean. Perhaps he was planning a Dreadlock Holiday, all his overseas real estate purchases were in Trinidad and Tobago.

Hermione then telephoned Jason: Jason, I thought I might come over for dinner and a chat tonight. Is that convenient?

Jason: Sure. Dinner with you at my place this evening is an excellent idea.

Hermione: Good.

Not long after Hermione arrived at his residence, Jason was getting an update on the progress of her investigation into Mr Flamboyant. Hermione said she needed more time to complete her investigation and Mr Flamboyant needed to be discouraged from taking a Dreadlock Holiday, at least for a month or three (3).

Hermione: It would be unfortunate if Flamboyant had an accident incapacitating him for a month or three (3).

Jason: It would not be the first time such an accident has occurred in one of our cases.

Hermione: A hospital stay also helps us monitor Mr Flamboyant, in case we need him to contribute to the investigation of his real estate purchases.

Jason: I like how you are concerned for the welfare of Mr Flamboyant, Hermione.

Their dinner conversation then moved on to other more mundane matters.

The Detour

The next day Jason made his way to the residence of Mr Flamboyant. Once he located the Flamboyant motor vehicle, he went to work. That work was quick and efficient. Jason had rigged this type of explosive to a vehicle undercarriage several times before. He knew precisely where to place it for maximum impact on the brake lines, without causing catastrophic damage to the vehicle itself, and he secured it swiftly. Once this task was complete, Jason immediately left the premises.

The following day, Jason monitored the GPS tracker he had also discreetly placed in the Flamboyant vehicle. As Flamboyant drove himself along a stretch of winding road  on the outskirts of Brisbane, a road with a significant drop-off to one side, Jason seized his opportunity. Prompt activation of his remote detonator, and the small explosive did its work.

Inside the car, Flamboyant felt a sudden lurch and the sickening give of the brake pedal as it went straight to the floor. Panic set in as he fought the steering wheel, the car veering wildly on the unfamiliar curves. The inevitable happened quickly; the vehicle careened off the side of the road. The sounds of tearing metal and crashing foliage echoing through the quiet landscape.

An hour passed before the first responders reached the wreckage. Seriously injured and in considerable pain, Flamboyant was finally extracted from the vehicle and transported to a Brisbane hospital.

The attending paramedics noted the critical nature of his condition. They also said it was possible his injuries may have been exacerbated by the time elapsed before medical intervention could be administered.

Upon his arrival at the hospital, the attending medical team confirmed that the delay in reaching Mr Flamboyant on the mountainside had indeed contributed significantly to the seriousness and complexity of his injuries.  Their provisional assessment was that Mr Flamboyant was looking at a period of extensive and prolonged monitoring and treatment of his condition and injuries.

Hospital

Once Flamboyant was admitted to the hospital, further measures were put in place to test his condition and assess his injuries. The results of those measures would inform the duration of his hospital stay.

Shortly after the Flamboyant admission to hospital, Jason received confirmation that the rock band manager was secure and would be out of commission for quite a while.

Jason then telephoned Hermione and told her that any immediate plans Flamboyant had for a Dreadlock Holiday would have to be put on hold, as he was looking at an extended stay in hospital following an unfortunate motor vehicle accident.

Hermione then turned her attention to gaining access to the Land Titles Office in Trinidad and Tobago. Once Hermione transferred title in the subject real estate to her corporation, she could do with it what she liked.

After some considerable initial frustration, Hermione gained the access she desired. She was surprised how simple and easy it was to transfer the titles to all the Flamboyant real estate to her corporation. As she was methodically undertaking those transfers, Hermione thought to herself that Flamboyant should have chosen a country in which to buy real estate that had better security on its Land Title system.

She ensured that Flamboyant had no real estate in his name or control in Trinidad and Tobago. Mrs Parent would be pleased to learn that Flamboyant had not benefited from his criminal behaviour, Hermione thought.

The next step was to sell some of that real estate, so the band could have their cash returned to them, and Hermione found selling that Trinidad and Tobago real estate was surprisingly easy. She chuckled to herself that she thought she got a good price for the real estate she sold quickly.

The remaining recovered real estate, and there was quite a bit of it, was then subjected to creative transfers to other corporations controlled by Hermione.

Hermione Meets with Mrs Parent

Once Hermione was satisfied that Flamboyant had been relieved of his Trinidad and Tobago real estate and it was securely in her control, she met with Mrs Parent. Hermione informed Mrs Parent that she would gain title to one of those now former Flamboyant properties as payment for her work and that of Jason. Mrs Parent was not troubled by the proposed arrangement.

Hermione told Mrs Parent her strategy was informed by uncomplicated logic, the gains of Flamboyant were ill-gotten. He was in no position to complain about any possible illegal behaviour of Hermione.

Mrs Parent responded: Of course, Hermione you would not conduct any illegal behaviour.

Hermione: Absolutely not, Mrs Parent. That would be wrong.

By the way, Mrs Parent, Mr Flamboyant had an unfortunate motor vehicle accident recently, the result of which he was admitted to hospital for treatment.

Mrs Parent: That is terrible luck for Mr Flamboyant.

Hermione: I am sure he has recovered by now and will be released from hospital.

Mrs Parent: Some good news for Mr Flamboyant. He can now go on that overseas holiday I understood he was planning.

Hermione: It would be tragic if Mr Flamboyant recovered from his accident and headed to Trinidad and Tobago, only to discover he was effectively penniless and with no avenue of complaint.

Mrs Parent: Tragic, indeed. I think I might go and tell my son Mr Flamboyant decided to return the money he borrowed.

The telephone of Hermione rang and she took the brief call.

Hermione: Good news, Mrs Parent. That was my colleague. He confirmed to me that Mr Flamboyant has recovered from his accident and has been released from hospital.

Mrs Parent. That is good news. So, Mr Flamboyant is free to go on his Dreadlock Holiday.

Hermione: Yes. I am sure it will be memorable for him.

Mrs Parent: Thank you Hermione. I am enormously grateful to you.

Hermione: You are welcome, Mrs Parent.

Hermione and Mrs Parent then ended their meeting and went off to deal with other matters in their respective lives.

Hermione Visits Jason

Hermione then telephoned Jason: I am coming over for a visit.

Jason: The door is open.

Hermione arrived shortly thereafter and soon she and Jason were in conversation. Ultimately the size of the real estate portfolio they had recovered was discussed.

Jason said to Hermione: “I hope you were not silly enough to transfer all that property to the band, other than the one that was payment for our services.”

Hermione replied, laughing: “You are a funny guy, Jason .”

Then she said: “Let’s go and get something to eat, Jason.”

Jason shook his head and laughed as they walked out the front door.