All That Jazz

Intelligence Gathering and Planning

Harriet gathered the MI6 agents for a thorough intelligence briefing on the latest relevant Bad Guy. This one was an Iron Curtain scientist, who had a predilection for attending the modest Regent Theatre. Her intelligence suggested the Iron Curtain scientist would be attending an opening night of a movie about a jazz musician at that modest Regent Theatre.

As was her practice, Harriet included the preparation of a detailed Profile Folder as part of her intelligence briefing.

Subsequent to that intelligence briefing, Nicky Parsons collaborated with M1 to develop a detailed mission plan for the neutralisation of the Iron Curtain scientist. This preparation included selecting a strategic sniper site across the street from the venue. The sniper site was a vacant office that sat at about 45 degrees from the foyer of the Regent Theatre.

Harriet recruited M2 for the post-event chauffeur duties.

The Sniper Operation

Regent Theatre movie opening night arrived. Nicky Parsons, M1 and his suitcase containing the sniper rifle and associated goodies made their way to the vacant office across the street from the Regent Theatre. Nicky helped M1 set up, which did not take long.

Her final words to M1 before she left the sniper site to go to the Regent Theatre across the road were:

“For Queen and country, M1. For Queen and country. Take this guy out.”

Agent Parsons then positioned herself casually within the open foyer of the Regent Theatre and blended in with the opening night crowd. Not ten (10) minutes had passed before Agent Parsons identified the Iron Curtain scientist target.

Nicky Parsons grabbed the scientist and almost whispered in his ear:

"Come for a walk with me."

Her firearm against his ribs was a silent, but potent persuader.

Agent Parsons walked the scientist to the footpath in a fashion similar to a hostage taker using a hostage as a shield.

Agent Parsons then positioned the Iron Curtain scientist in a clear line of sight for M1 and seemed to signal or wave with her hand to someone across the road.

Her arms that were holding the Iron Curtain scientist were now outstretched in their hold on him and sniper M1 clinically took out the scientist. Two (2) clean shots to his forehead.

Nicky released her hold on the scientist, who then fell to the ground, and she blended back into the now-agitated crowd. Her mission objective had been achieved. The agitation and low level chaos of the gathered crowd made the departure of Agent Parsons from the scene easier.

Having successfully completed his part of the mission, M1 began to pack up the sniper site. Agent Parsons soon joined him and helped him to pack his sniper suitcase.

As soon as Agent Parsons and M1 made their way to the footpath outside the sniper site building, they were greeted by M2 in an unmarked MI6 vehicle. Parsons and M1 were a little surprised to see him. Once they were in the vehicle, M2 and his passengers departed the scene.

M2 said to Nicky Parsons: “Turns out you did not need backup or help with the takedown, so I was on telephone duties. The MI6 clean up crew are already doing their business.”

M1: Nice work, M2.

M2: Good shooting, M1.

Parsons: Thank you, M2.

M2: We have to deliver a suitcase to MI6. Did I hear you say “Then steak sandwiches”, Agent Parsons?

M1: Steak sandwiches.

Parsons: Steak sandwiches.

Stuffy Shirts

Four days pass. Life at MI6 continued, with the usual mix of briefings, paperwork, and clandestine operations. There was no lingering discussion or emotional fallout from the Iron Curtain scientist and sniper incident (at least not overtly). Nicky Parsons carried on with her duties, her demeanor unchanged, as did M1.

Then Emily decided to visit Harriet in her office, unannounced.

Emily said to Harriet: Miss Harriet, I have it on good authority that you are a stuffy shirt.

Harriet: A stuffy shirt, Miss Abernathy?

Emily: Indeed, Miss Harriet, a stuffy shirt. And do you know what stuffy shirts do, Miss Harriet? They use these tickets and go and see Lou Donaldson play at the Albert Theatre tonight.

Harriet: Miss Parsons looks like a stuffy shirt, Miss Abernathy.

Emily: Perhaps you could accompany me to the office of Miss Parsons and assist me in convincing Miss Parsons to utilise this ticket with her name on it.

Harriet: Three (3) stuffy shirts, the Albert Theatre and Lou Donaldson?

Emily: Yes, Miss Harriet.

Harriet: Lead the way to the office of this Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons.

Three (3) minutes later the ladies were in the office of Nicky Parsons.

Emily: Miss Parsons, There is strong evidence to suggest that you are a stuffy shirt. And because you are a stuffy shirt, I am in possession of a ticket with your name on it for tonight, to attend the Albert Theatre. The ticket says you will be in the presence of Lou Donaldson.

Nicky: A stuffy shirt? Really, Miss Abernathy. A stuffy shirt? When might the presence of Lou Donaldson commence?

Emily: 7:30 pm.

Harriet: Three (3) stuffy shirts at the Albert Theatre.

Nicky: Would these stuffy shirts need to eat before their attendance at the Albert Theatre?

Emily: Of course.

Nicky: It looks like we will need to leave work early to properly utilise those tickets.

Harriet: We will not even have to change our shoes.

Emily: Three (3) stuffy shirts and the Albert Theatre, it is then.

Nicky: I have my handbag and coat. Let us collect your handbags and coats and be on our way.

Emily and Harriet: Splendid.

Lou Donaldson (1962) Gravy Train

Three (3) days after the three (3) stuffy shirts attended the Lou Donaldson concert, which they thoroughly enjoyed, they had a team meeting in the office of Nicky Parsons. Nicky presented M1 with a new copy of the Lou Donaldson Gravy Train album.

As she did so, she said to M1: “In the future, when we go on missions, we do not want to have any issues about jazz albums not being returned to you.”

M2: Laughed first.

M1: Laughed a little more slowly.

The three (3) stuffy shirts then joined in the laughter.

The Planner's Dream Goes Wrong

Some months after her stuffy shirts Lou Donaldson concert adventure, Agent Harriet knew some intelligence had crossed her desk regarding two (2) Iron Curtain organisers and assassins. Their primary mission was to coordinate all existing Iron Curtain operatives in the city, effectively establishing a unified and efficient London office for their network.

Harriet decided to approach Nicky Parsons in her officer with this intelligence and ask her if it warranted an intelligence briefing.

Parsons replied: Yes, it does.

Harriet: Thank you: I will organise an MI6 intelligence briefing shortly.

That Harriet intelligence briefing revealed to the MI6 agents in attendance of the arrival in London of two (2) key Iron Curtain agent organisers and their mission to consolidate their network in London.

Agent Nicky Parsons recognised the strategic threat these newly arrived Iron Curtain agents posed and devised a counter-operation. The uncooperative nature of Dieter and his likely standing within the Iron Curtain network was also known to Agent Parsons, he had been in MI6 custody for about six (6) months and was not forthcoming with any meaningful information, so she proposed using him as bait in a mission to capture the two (2) new arrivals. Her proposition was that a public statement be carefully crafted and released, painting Dieter as no longer considered to be a collaborator.

Upon release of that MI6 statement, as anticipated, its news reached the two (2) newly arrived assassins, who then saw Dieter as a threat to their organisational plans and a potential source of damaging information. In turn, they made plans to take swift and decisive action to eliminate him.

Unbeknownst to the Iron Curtain agent organisers, under the direction of Agent Parsons, MI6 had them under close surveillance. As they carried out their hit on Dieter, within 24 hours of the release of the public statement by MI6, MI6 teams then moved in and apprehended the now hapless two (2) key Iron Curtain organisers.

Upon their capture and incarceration in MI6 custody, Agent Parsons had a conversation with the two (2) key Iron Curtain agent organisers.

Parsons: “Convenient of you two to murder the uncooperative Dieter, and no doubt you will be convicted of his murder. You two also have future utility for us as potential bait in subsequent operations. Clearly you thought through your plan thoroughly. And for that, we are grateful.”

The hapless two (2) key Iron Curtain organisers looked at each other, as they realised their future was rather more complicated than they had planned.

The Stuffy Shirts Shop In Carnaby Street, Again

Around morning tea time one Thursday, Emily noticed Harriet walking past her office, so she went to see her and invited her back to her office. Once the two (2) agents were in the office of Emily Abernathy, Emily asked Harriet:

“Can I interest you in another stuffy shirts outing?

I propose this Saturday morning we take up the offer of Hildegarde, the West German girlfriend of Agent Manchester, who works in a clothing store in Carnaby Street, and venture into a second Saturday morning trip to Carnaby Street for shopping. Hildegarde may even be able to organise “a friendly discount”, if we see something we like.

And we can follow the shopping with tea and muffins in a nearby café?”

Harriet: The stuffy shirts to return Carnaby Street for some shopping in the Hildegarde store?

Emily: And then some tea and muffins.

Harriet: That sounds like a splendid idea.

Emily: Feel like a walk to the office of Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons to see if she is interested in accompanying us?

Harriet: Lead the way, Miss Stuffy Shirt Abernathy.

Five minutes later all three (3) stuffy shirts were in the office of Nicky Parsons.

Emily then addressed Nicky Parsons: Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons, If you carefully consult your calendar, I am sure you will find that this Saturday morning, you have a shopping commitment in Carnaby Street, and in particular the clothing store of Hildegarde, the West German girlfriend of Agent Manchester.

Nicky: My calendar says the Carnaby Street shopping will be followed by tea and muffins in a nearby café.  Are we talking about the same commitment?

Harriet: Indeed, Miss Stuffy Shirt Parsons. Three (3) stuffy shirts shopping in Carnaby Street and then tea and muffins in a nearby café.

Nicky: Are we meeting downstairs in front of this building at 10:30 am on Saturday?

Emily: Yes. Then we will make our way to Carnaby Street.

Nicky: Splendid.

Harriet: Splendid.

Emily: Excellent. We will leave you now and return to our offices.

Saturday morning arrived and the three stuffy shirts made their way to the Carnaby Street clothing store of Hildegarde without incident. Whilst they were in the store, Harriet identified an Iron Curtain target, who was shopping in the store with a female companion. She then told the other two (2) Stuffy Shirts of her discovery. Emily responded promptly by tripping the target, causing him to fall to the ground.

Nicky Parsons then spoke to the target: “On your stomach, Grigorovich, and stay there.”

By then Agent Parsons had drawn her firearm and it was aimed at the target.

Once Grigorovich was on his stomach, Agent Parson put away her firearm and placed her handcuffs on him, securing his hands behind his back.

Grigorovich remained silent while Emily approached Hildegarde to use the store telephone and call the episode in to MI6. Emily told Hildegarde it was quicker and easier to use the store telephone, rather than go outside and look for a public telephone.

Hildegarde agreed without complaint. She felt she was not only cooperating with the authorities, she was assisting her friends.

The events in her store that morning meant Hildegarde got to see first hand what her three stuffy shirt friends actually do. She saw the stuffy shirts quickly go from shopping mode into work mode and that they did their job quickly and efficiently. Hildegarde also got to hear the short Emily telephone call to MI6.

Within 15 minutes MI6 colleagues of the stuffy shirts were taking away the target to MI6 headquarters.

The three stuffy shirts told Hildegarde that bit of unplanned excitement was enough for their attendance at the store that morning and they proposed the four (4) women go to tea and muffins again after Hildegarde finished work. Hildegarde agreed.

Whilst eating their muffins and drinking their tea, Nicky Parsons said to Hildegarde:

“It is pretty hard for us to keep what we do a secret from you, if you are going to host shopping expeditions for our targets."

Hildegarde: This way I get to see what you do and invite you back again for more shopping and more tea and muffins,

Harriet: More shopping. More tea and muffins.

Emily: Her argument certainly has its compelling features.

Laughter then engulfed their café table.